Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates how the number of jobs in four sectors different in the US between 1960 and 2000 .

Overall, the healthcare and retail economy in the US recorded the highest number jobs. While in a agriculture it showed the lowest number of jobs. In manufacturing it rose the number of employment but after time it decline.

In detail, In manufacturing , the jobs market was 15 millions in 1960 and it jumped to 20 millions job in 1980 . Furthermore, it reduced the numbers nearly 15 millions in 2000 and dramatically dropped to below 15 millions in 2020. In healthcare sectors the job was escalated from 1960 to 2020 with above 15millions job. Moreover in retail sector had constantly climbed to reach 15millions job in 2000 while in 2020 it slightly rose to above 15millions job. In addition , the maximum jobs was reduced in agriculture sectors. It had above 5 millions job in 1960 but gradually declined to near 2 millions job in 1980 and stay constant for the next 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate, as it claims healthcare and retail recorded the highest number of jobs throughout the period, whereas manufacturing was higher for a significant portion of the timeline. The description of the data is generally clear, but some figures are imprecise (e.g., 'above 15 millions' is vague). To improve, ensure the overview captures the most significant shifts rather than just listing sectors, and be more precise when referencing data points from the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'In addition' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally logical, moving from a general summary to specific sectoral details. However, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the paragraphing could be more effectively used to contrast the declining sectors with the growing ones to improve the flow of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. Phrases like 'it rose the number of employment' and 'the job was escalated' are non-standard and demonstrate limited control over collocation. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'sectors', 'economy', and 'manufacturing', the word choice is often awkward. To reach a higher band, focus on using more natural collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing when describing trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the jobs market was 15 millions'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'it decline'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the maximum jobs was reduced'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band.

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