Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare showed an upward trend, while manufacturing experienced a dramatic decline. Meanwhile, agricultural jobs decreased steadily. Retail recorded the highest figures, whereas agriculture had the lowest through out the period.

From 1960 to 2020, retail stood at 6%,while health care was slightly lower at 3 %. Retail then increased sharply to 10 %, and then went up to 15 %, by final year reached to 16%. Similarly, healthcare rose from 3% to 5%, and then grew to 11%, finally reached to 16 % same as retail.

Turning to manufacturing and agriculture, manufacturing started at 15 % in 1960 and experienced an upward trend at 20 % in 1980, and then it went down to 17 % in 2000 and dropped to 14 % in 2020. In contrast, agriculture stood at 6 % in 1960, fell to 3 % in 1980, and then declined to 2% and 1 % from 2000 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all parts of the task well. You have identified the main trends and provided data to support your descriptions. The overview is clear and highlights the key differences between the sectors. However, the data reporting is slightly repetitive in structure (e.g., 'stood at X', 'rose to Y'). To reach a higher band, ensure that comparisons are more integrated rather than just listing figures chronologically. For example, you could contrast the convergence of retail and healthcare more explicitly. Overall, the task is addressed effectively with a clear focus on the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use some cohesive devices like 'Meanwhile', 'Similarly', and 'In contrast' to link your points. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes a bit mechanical. To improve, try to vary the way you connect sentences and ensure that the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the information is grouped logically by sector trends.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'upward trend', 'dramatic decline', and 'sharply'. There are some minor issues with word choice and phrasing, such as 'by final year reached to 16%' and 'same as retail', which sound slightly unnatural. To achieve a higher score, aim for more sophisticated collocations and avoid repetitive structures when describing trends. The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but lacks the precision and flexibility required for the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors, particularly with prepositions and verb tense consistency (e.g., 'reached to 16%', 'same as retail'). There are also some punctuation issues, such as inconsistent spacing before percentages. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing data trends will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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