Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates number of jobs in four sectors of the United States economy between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare showed an upward trend, while manufacturing experienced dramatic decline. Meanwhile, agricultural jobs decreased steadily. Retail recorded the highest records whereas agriculture is the lowest throughout .
From 1960 to 2020, retail stood at 6 million jobs, while healthcare was slightly lower at 3 million. Retail then increased sharply to 10 million and then went up to 15 million, reached to 16 million by end of the period. Similarly, healthcare rose from 3 million to 5 million and then grew to 11 million finally reached to 16 million same as retail.
Turning to manufacturing and agriculture, manufacturing started at 15 million jobs in 1960 and experienced an upward trend to 20 million in 1980, and then went down to 17 million in 2000 and dropped to14 million in 2020. In contrast stood at 6 million jobs, fell at 3 million in 1980 and declined to 2 million and 1 million from 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. You successfully highlighted the upward trajectory of retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the overview is slightly flawed; you stated manufacturing experienced a 'dramatic decline,' but the data shows it actually increased until 1980 before declining, and you described retail as having the 'highest records' throughout, which is not accurate for the early period. To reach a higher band, ensure your overview captures the most significant trends accurately without over-generalising or misinterpreting the starting points of the data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organised into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'Meanwhile,' 'Similarly,' and 'In contrast' to link ideas. However, the progression within the second body paragraph is slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final sentence where 'In contrast stood at 6 million' lacks a clear subject. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that every pronoun or reference clearly points to the correct data point would enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend,' 'sharply,' and 'steadily.' There are some instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'highest records' and 'reached to 16 million,' which are not standard collocations. Additionally, there is a minor error in the final paragraph where the subject is missing. To improve, focus on using more precise reporting verbs and nouns, and ensure that your word choices are natural and contextually appropriate for describing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'illustrates number of jobs' (missing article 'the'), 'reached to 16 million' (unnecessary preposition), and 'dropped to14 million' (missing space). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and missing subjects in the final paragraph. To move up, focus on proofreading for small errors like missing articles and prepositions, and try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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