Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the information about the quantity of jobs in four different areas of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare sector showed significant increase while manufacturing and agriculture declined in the us between 1960 and 2020.
Firstly, In the year 1960 the manufacturing sector showed some rose upto 20 million job in the year 1980 then it showed declined dramatically from 20 millions to nearly upto 12 millions in the year 2020.
Then in the agriculture sector it showed some decrement from 6 million to nearly upto 3 million in the year 2020.
Furthermore, in the healthcare area it was at around 2 million jobs in year 1960 then it showed significant growth upto 16 million jobs in the year 2020. Lastly, in the retail sector also increased from around 6 million in 1960 to 16 million jobs in year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the reporting of data is somewhat imprecise. For instance, stating the manufacturing sector 'showed some rose' is grammatically awkward and lacks precision. While the overview is present, it is quite brief. To improve, ensure that the data points are described with more accuracy and that the overview provides a clearer summary of the overall trends rather than just listing them. The inclusion of specific figures is good, but the phrasing around these figures needs to be more professional and varied to better highlight the key features of the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. The use of cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'Lastly' is present, but these are used in a somewhat mechanical way. The progression of ideas is clear, but the transitions between sentences could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, though the structure of the sentences sometimes makes the flow feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would enhance the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision expected at higher bands. There is frequent repetition of basic verbs like 'showed' and 'increased'. Phrases such as 'showed some rose' and 'showed some decrement' are unnatural and indicate a limited grasp of collocation. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more varied and precise vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged', or 'gradual decline'. Additionally, ensure that word forms are used correctly in context to avoid awkward phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the us' (should be capitalized), 'showed some rose', 'nearly upto', and missing articles. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of control over basic grammatical rules and sentence construction limits the score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that sentence structures are grammatically sound. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect verb forms is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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