Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph describes the rise and fall in the job sectors over decades. First we see the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector. Though initially it increased from 15 million to 20 million from 1960 to 1980. After that it has consistently declined over the next 40 years to numbers as low as 12.5 million. Secondly we see the number if jobs in the retail sector which have gradually been increasing evenly over the years from 6 million in 1960 now they are at almost 16 million in 2020. After that comes the agriculture sector which has been on decline as stated in 1960 it was at 6 million and now at an all time low at 2 million jobs. We can see that the healthcare sector has the most rise in the jobs based on the graph where the jobs started at 2 million in 1960 but are now at an all time high at 16 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, it lacks a clear overview, which is a requirement for a high band score in Task 1. The summary is presented as a list of individual descriptions rather than a cohesive report that highlights the most significant features or comparisons. For instance, while you mention the rise and fall of sectors, you do not explicitly contrast the growth of healthcare and retail against the decline of agriculture and manufacturing. To improve, ensure you include an introductory overview paragraph that synthesizes the main trends across the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organized into a single paragraph, which makes it difficult to follow. IELTS Academic Task 1 requires clear paragraphing to separate the introduction/overview from the body details. While you use some cohesive devices like 'First', 'Secondly', and 'After that', these are used in a somewhat mechanical and repetitive way. The progression of ideas is logical, but the lack of paragraph breaks and the reliance on simple transition words limits the flow. Using a wider variety of linking phrases and structuring the essay into at least two or three paragraphs would significantly improve the coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive. You frequently use the word 'jobs' and phrases like 'number of' or 'at'. There is little attempt to use more sophisticated or varied synonyms to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged', or 'remained stable'. While the meaning is always clear, the range is limited. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'the manufacturing sector experienced a downward trend' instead of 'it has consistently declined'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the number if jobs' (typo) and 'the healthcare sector has the most rise in the jobs' (awkward phrasing). Additionally, some sentences are fragments or run-on sentences, such as 'Though initially it increased from 15 million to 20 million from 1960 to 1980.' This sentence is incomplete because it starts with 'Though' but lacks a main clause. To improve, focus on using a mix of complex sentence structures and ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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