Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the provided information about the many jobs in four sectors like manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in US during 1960 and 2020.
Overall, economy depends on the various professions in US that increased or decreased according to the years.
Retail and health care rapidly in process but manufacturing and agriculture progress declined after few years.
firstly, in manufacturing number of jobs was available round about 15 millions that increased to 20 millions but in 1980 the ratio of jobs rapidly down. Also, almost 6 millions of positions in agriculture that reduce in 1980 and no development throughout 2020.
secondly, retails and healthcare are cultivated in a job sectors that can be seen in graph. 3 millions of positions in healthcare can be seen and rapidly surged from 1980 to 2020. Further 6 millions post was obtained for retails that also expanded allover 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have attempted to report the main features, but the lack of precise data points and the brevity of the explanation mean that the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you provide a more detailed overview and include specific data points from the graph to support your descriptions. The failure to reach the minimum length is a significant constraint on the overall score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the flow of ideas is often disjointed due to the limited use of cohesive devices. Transitions like 'firstly' and 'secondly' are used, but the internal logic within paragraphs is weak. For example, the transition between the description of manufacturing and agriculture is abrupt. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the data. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one to create a smoother narrative.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'reduced'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'cultivated in a job sectors' and 'expanded allover', which are not standard English. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is not sufficient to demonstrate flexibility or precision. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more varied and precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged', or 'remained stagnant'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with articles ('in US', 'in manufacturing'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For instance, 'retail and health care rapidly in process' is grammatically incomplete. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be distracting. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for article usage and verb forms will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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