Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph provides information on the number of jobs in four different sectors namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare from [redacted phone] in the US.
Overall, the jobs in manufacturing were in the large number in 1960, while healthcare with the lowest number. By the end of the period, healthcare and retail jobs accounted for the highest number of jobs, conversely, agriculture with least.
In 1980, manufacturing jobs were reported with the highest of 15 million jobs, whereas, retail and agriculture noted around 6 million. Meanwhile, healthcare had less than 5 million jobs. In the following year, manufacturing jobs peaked with 20 million new opportunities, similarly, jobs in retail and healthcare at 10 million and 5 million respectively. Conversely, jobs in agriculture dropped around 4 million.
In the last 2 decades, manufacturing jobs climbed down and accounted at 13 million jobs. In contrast, retail and healthcare jobs continued to rise and surpassed manufacturing and stood at 16 million. Converge to jobs in agriculture remained less than 5 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. For instance, the reference to '1980' and 'the following year' is confusing as the graph spans 1960–2020, and these specific data points do not clearly align with the visual information provided. While you identify the key trends—manufacturing declining and healthcare/retail rising—the lack of precision in reporting the data points (e.g., 'climbed down', 'accounted at') makes the summary less effective. To improve, ensure that the data cited matches the graph accurately and use more precise terminology for describing trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall', 'In contrast', and 'Conversely', which help the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, some transitions are slightly awkward or misused, such as 'Converge to jobs in agriculture', which is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow. The referencing is generally clear, but the logical connection between the paragraphs could be strengthened by ensuring that the time periods mentioned are clearly defined and consistent throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to describe the trends in the four sectors. You use some relevant terms like 'accounted for', 'peaked', and 'surpassed'. However, there are several instances of unnatural word choice and collocation errors, such as 'climbed down' instead of 'declined' or 'decreased', and 'accounted at' instead of 'accounted for'. Additionally, the phrase 'in the large number' is non-standard. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding informal phrasing when describing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the quality of the writing. Examples include 'healthcare with the lowest number' (missing verb), 'agriculture with least' (missing verb/article), and 'Converge to jobs in agriculture' (incorrect usage of a verb form). There are also issues with prepositions and article usage throughout the text. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring every sentence has a clear, complete structure.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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