Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
According to the provided graph , which displays the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in America between 1960 and 2020.
It displays the growth of manufacturing industry , which scales up by 1980, but after that a decline is shown in the jobs. In comparison to manufacturing industry jobs ; a constant decline in the job sector of agriculture is shown. At the start of 1960 agriculture jobs were nearly 5.2 million , but after 1960 the growth rate became at the lowest and a decline in no of jobs is displayed. On the other hand Retail and healthcare had the growth in their jobs with the increasing timeline from 1960 to 2020, and both of them had an increase in their job sector.
In conclusion, different displayed industries had different impact on job sectors in the given timeline. Industry like manufacturing had an increase in the middle but then job rate decreased , whereas a growth is observed in healthcare and retail.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the prompt, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the main trends, the description lacks precision regarding the data points. For instance, you mention agriculture started at 5.2 million, but you do not provide enough comparative data for the other sectors to fully illustrate the 'main features'. The overview is present but could be more distinct; it is currently integrated into the conclusion. To improve, ensure you provide a clear 'overview' paragraph after the introduction that highlights the most significant trends, such as the divergence between the declining sectors (agriculture and manufacturing) and the growing ones (retail and healthcare).
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into three short paragraphs, which is a logical structure for a Task 1 response. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'In comparison to' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'In comparison to manufacturing industry jobs ; a constant decline in the job sector of agriculture is shown.' The punctuation, specifically the use of semicolons and commas, is inconsistent and occasionally hinders the logical progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. You rely on basic verbs like 'displays', 'shown', and 'had'. While these are accurate, they do not demonstrate the range required for higher bands. There are also some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'scales up' and 'increasing timeline'. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'experienced a steady decline', or 'witnessed significant growth'. Spelling is generally accurate, but the vocabulary remains somewhat limited in its variety and precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. For example, the first sentence is a fragment rather than a complete sentence. There are also issues with article usage ('the manufacturing industry') and prepositional phrases ('growth rate became at the lowest'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and ensuring every sentence has a clear main clause will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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