Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs measured in millions, in four sector of the us economy -manufacturing , retail, Agriculture ,and Healthcare between 1960 to 2020
Overall, healthcare sector increased continuously ,Agriculture sector dropped to 3 million and remain stable from 1980 to 2020.Also, retail sector inclined significantly .
It can be seen that manufacturing sector increased to 20 million in 1980, which was 15 million in 1960. Between the same year retail sector inclined to 10 million which was 6 million at 1960. From 1980 to 2000 agriculture sector dropped to less than 20 million and declined dramatically to less than 15 million in 2020. Whereas, Retail sector inclined significantly to above than 15 million in 2020 from 10 million in 1980 .
Furthermore, In 1960 to 1980 agriculture sector fell slightly to less than 5 million and almost unchanged from 1960 to 2020 ,which was almost at 3 million. meanwhile, healthcare sector increased sharply to above than 15 million which was 12 million in 2000, 5 million in 1980, 2 million in 1960 respectively .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the growth in healthcare and retail alongside the decline in agriculture. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains significant inaccuracies. For example, you state the agriculture sector dropped to 'less than 20 million' between 1980 and 2000, which contradicts the graph's data. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, and the final paragraph repeats information already mentioned, leading to a lack of clarity. To improve, ensure that the figures cited accurately reflect the graph and avoid contradictory statements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive information and unclear referencing. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'meanwhile', the flow between sentences is often disjointed. The structure of the final paragraph is particularly problematic, as it attempts to summarise data that was already discussed, creating confusion rather than adding value. Improving the logical sequencing of your points and ensuring that each paragraph has a distinct focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'continuously', 'stable', 'inclined', and 'dramatically'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'inclined significantly' (where 'increased' or 'rose' would be more natural) and 'almost unchanged' (which is slightly awkward). Additionally, there are minor issues with capitalization and punctuation, such as 'us economy' and 'manufacturing , retail'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure consistent attention to standard English mechanics.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('the healthcare sector'), incorrect preposition usage ('in 1960 to 1980'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('healthcare sector increased... Agriculture sector dropped'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from achieving a higher score. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for articles and prepositions will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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