Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the provided information about the many jobs in four sectors like manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US during 1960 and 2020.
Overall, economy depends on the various professions in the US that increased or decreased over the years.
Retail and health care grew rapidly but manufacturing and agriculture progress declined after few years.
Firstly, in manufacturing number of jobs was available approximately 15 million that increased to 20 million but in 1980 the ratio of jobs rapidly dropped. Also, almost 6 million of positions in agriculture that reduce in 1980 and no development throughout 2020.
Secondly, retail and healthcare are cultivated in a job sectors that can be seen in graph. 3 millions of positions in healthcare can be seen and rapidly surged from 1980 to 2020. Further 6 millions post was obtained for retail that also expanded allover 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you identify the main trends, the reporting of data is often imprecise or inaccurate. For example, you state that manufacturing jobs increased to 20 million, but the data description is vague. Furthermore, the analysis of the agriculture sector is confusing, stating there was 'no development throughout 2020'. You need to provide more accurate data points and ensure the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends, such as the shift from primary/secondary sectors to service-based sectors. The under-length penalty is applied here.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inappropriate, such as 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to introduce paragraphs that lack internal logical flow. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between sentences is often abrupt. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'meanwhile') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects logically to the overall summary.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'dropped', and 'expanded'. There are also instances of awkward word choices, such as 'retail and healthcare are cultivated in a job sectors' and 'ratio of jobs', which do not accurately describe the data. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'witnessed a steady decline', 'surged', or 'remained stagnant'. Improving your collocation skills will help convey your ideas more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'retail and healthcare are cultivated'), missing articles (e.g., 'in manufacturing number of jobs'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'allover 2000 to 2020'). The sentence structure is often disjointed, which limits the range of grammatical control. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, consistent use of past tense when describing historical data, and ensuring that articles are used correctly before nouns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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