Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Overall, retail and healthcare showed an upward trend, while manufacturing experienced a dramatic decline. Meanwhile, agricultural jobs decreased steadily. Retail recorded the highest figures, whereas agriculture had the lowest throughout the period.
From 1960 to 2020, retail stood at 6%,while healthcare was slightly lower at 3%. Retail then increased sharply to 10%, and then went up to 15%, by final year reached 16%. Similarly, healthcare rose from 3% to 5%, and then grew to 11%, finally reached 16% same as retail.
Turning to manufacturing and agriculture, manufacturing started at 15% in 1960 and experienced an upward trend at 20% in 1980, and then it went down to 17% in 2000 and dropped to 14% in 2020. In contrast, agriculture stood at 6% in 1960, fell to 3% in 1980, and then declined to 2% and 1% from 2000 to 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. You have successfully selected and reported the main features as required. However, the data reporting is slightly inconsistent; for instance, you state that retail stood at 6% in 1960, but the graph shows it starting higher. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing trend is slightly inaccurate regarding the 1980 peak. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are transcribed with absolute precision and that comparisons between sectors are more explicitly linked to the specific years mentioned.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary. You use cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile', 'Similarly', and 'In contrast' to link ideas effectively. The progression of information is generally smooth, moving from an overview to specific sector details. However, the paragraphing could be improved; the second paragraph is quite dense with data points, making it slightly repetitive in structure. Using more varied transition phrases and grouping the sectors more effectively would enhance the flow and cohesion of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'dramatic decline', and 'recorded the highest figures'. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, though some phrasing is slightly repetitive (e.g., 'went up', 'grew', 'rose'). To improve, try to incorporate more precise verbs and adverbs to describe the intensity of the changes, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'fluctuated'. The word choice is generally appropriate and does not impede communication, but lacks the sophistication required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some minor grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('by final year') and punctuation issues (e.g., '6%,while'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede the reader's understanding of the data. To achieve a higher score, focus on improving the accuracy of your complex sentences and ensure consistent use of articles and prepositions. The sentence variety is sufficient, but more sophisticated structures would demonstrate better control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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