Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the provided information about the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US during 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the economy depends on the various professions in the US that increased or decreased over the years.
Retail and health care grew rapidly but manufacturing and agriculture improvement declined after few years.
Firstly, in manufacturing number of jobs was available at approximately 15 millions that increased to 20 millions but in 1980 the ratio of jobs rapidly dropped. Also, almost 6 millions of positions in agriculture that reduced in 1980 and no development throughout 2020.
Secondly, retail and healthcare are cultivated in a job sectors that can be seen in graph. 3 millions of positions in healthcare can be seen and rapidly surged from 1980 to 2020. Further 6 millions post was obtained for retail that also expanded from 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a basic overview and identifies some key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating '15 millions' or '6 millions' is imprecise, and the description of trends is often vague (e.g., 'no development throughout 2020'). The analysis is somewhat superficial, failing to make meaningful comparisons between the sectors or highlight the most significant changes clearly. To improve, you should focus on selecting more accurate data points and ensuring the overview captures the most striking differences between the sectors over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as the use of 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to group sectors that do not logically belong together in that way. The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, making the flow feel disjointed. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus, such as grouping declining sectors together versus growing ones.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'ratio of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs' and 'cultivated in a job sectors', which is not standard English. The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on basic terms like 'increased', 'dropped', and 'expanded'. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'witnessed a steady decline' or 'experienced a significant surge', and avoid non-standard phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect pluralization (e.g., '15 millions'), missing articles (e.g., 'in manufacturing number of jobs'), and awkward sentence construction (e.g., '6 millions post was obtained'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally make the meaning slightly difficult to follow. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that your sentence structures are grammatically sound. Practicing the difference between countable and uncountable nouns in a data context will also be very beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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