Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph provides the valuable details about the number of jobs in four different sectors of economy in US from 1960 to 2020.Overall, the graph depicts that Number of jobs advertised by healthcare and retail sectors were increased during the whole period. In Agriculture sector, the job opportunities were higher in 1960 but decrease in later years. Manufacturing companies showed fluctuations in number of vacancies for people. Job opportunities were highest in 1980 later continuously decreased towards 2020.

If we look at the agriculture and health care sector, these two sectors had limited number of vacancies in the past. the health care department employed nearly 2 million people in 1960. This number increased to 10 million in 1980 and finally it reached to it highest number by providing jobs to 15 million people in US. Similarly, retail sector was also seems to continuously increasing number of jobs throughout the period from 6 millions in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. In Contrast, Agriculture sector provided more jobs to people with 6 millions in 1960 but later showed gradual decrease in number of vacancies to 2.5 millions in 2020. Manufacturing companies offered jobs to 15 million people in 1960. This number increased to highest with 20 million jobs in 1980 and then gradually decreased to 13 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly weak; while it mentions trends, it could be more synthesised. The data reporting is generally accurate, though there are some minor inaccuracies in the interpretation of the figures (e.g., stating the healthcare sector reached its highest point at 15 million, whereas the graph shows it continuing to rise). The response successfully highlights the key features and makes relevant comparisons between the sectors, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.5 or 7.0 performance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Similarly', 'In contrast', and 'Overall', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are occasional issues with referencing and sentence flow, such as the abrupt start to the second paragraph. The progression of ideas is clear, but the use of cohesive devices could be more sophisticated to reach a higher band. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'vacancies', and 'gradual decrease'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'valuable details' (which is slightly unnatural in this context) and 'health care department' (when referring to a sector). There are also minor errors in pluralisation, such as '6 millions' instead of '6 million'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the agriculture sector', 'in US') and subject-verb agreement ('retail sector was also seems to continuously increasing'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are missing spaces after periods and inconsistent capitalisation. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, the student should focus on article usage and ensuring consistent verb tense and form.

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