Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the provided information about the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US during 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the economy depends on the various professions in the US that increased or decreased over the years.
Retail and health care grew rapidly but manufacturing and agriculture improvement declined after few years.
Firstly, in manufacturing number of jobs was available at approximately 15 millions that increased to 20 million but in 1980 the ratio of jobs rapidly dropped. Also, almost 6 million of positions in agriculture that reduced in 1980 and no development throughout 2020.
Secondly, retail and healthcare are cultivated in a job sectors that can be seen in graph. 3 million of positions in healthcare can be seen and rapidly surged from 1980 to 2020. Further 6 million post were obtained for retail that also expanded from 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the prompt and identifies some key trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision. For instance, the description of the trends is vague, using phrases like 'after few years' rather than specifying the timeframes provided in the graph. The data reporting is inconsistent; while some figures are mentioned, they are not always accurate to the visual data provided. To achieve a higher band, you should focus on selecting the most significant features and supporting them with accurate data points, ensuring a clearer comparison between the sectors throughout the entire period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' followed by sentences that do not flow naturally. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which data points belong to which specific time periods. The progression of ideas is present but lacks sophistication, and the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall logical flow of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of unnatural word choices, such as 'cultivated in a job sectors' and 'ratio of jobs', which do not accurately describe economic data. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'manufacturing' and 'healthcare', the range is limited. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations related to trends, such as 'experienced a downward trend' or 'showed a significant surge', rather than relying on basic verbs like 'grew' or 'dropped'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('in manufacturing number of jobs'), incorrect preposition usage, and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'retail and healthcare are cultivated'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring correct article usage would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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