Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the provided information about the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US during 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the economy depends on the various professions in the US that increased or decreased over the years.
Retail and health care grew rapidly but manufacturing and agriculture employments declined after few years.
Firstly, in the manufacturing number of jobs were available at approximately 15 million that increased to 20 million but in 1980 the ratio of jobs rapidly dropped. Also, almost 6 million of positions in agriculture that reduced in 1980 and no development throughout 2020.
Secondly, retail and healthcare are cultivated in a job sectors that can be seen in graph. 3 million of positions in healthcare can be seen and rapidly surged from 1980 to 2020. Further 6 million posts were obtained for retail that also expanded from 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main trends for the four sectors, but the analysis is inconsistent and lacks precision. While you mention the growth of healthcare and retail and the decline of manufacturing and agriculture, the data points provided are often inaccurate or confusing. For example, stating that agriculture had 'no development throughout 2020' is unclear, and the description of the manufacturing trend is imprecise. To improve, ensure you select key data points (start, end, and significant turning points) and compare them accurately. The overview is too vague; it describes the economy in general terms rather than summarizing the specific trends shown in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inappropriate, such as the use of 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to introduce paragraphs that do not follow a logical progression. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors. The flow between sentences is somewhat disjointed, and the connection between the data and the commentary could be smoother. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'number of jobs', 'increased', and 'decreased'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'cultivated in a job sectors' and 'ratio of jobs', which are not natural in this context. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends and data, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline'. Expanding your range of synonyms and focusing on accurate collocations will help you convey information more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'in the manufacturing number of jobs'), awkward phrasing ('employments declined'), and errors in subject-verb agreement. Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure is often repetitive. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Additionally, try to vary your sentence structure by using more complex forms, such as relative clauses or participial phrases, while ensuring they are grammatically accurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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