Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph below depict information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the America in the year 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that the employment in manufacturing showed some fluctuations throughout the the period.whereas, employment in retail and healthcare system increased day by day .while in agriculture empl ratio were decreased steadily .

To commence with, there are four different sectors of the economy like manufacturing , retail, agriculture, and healthcare system. The highest number of jobs in manufacturing around 15 millions in 1960 and after 20 years the employment rate was reached at peak around 20 million jobs and then the ratio were decrease dramatically almost 13 million jobs in 2020 . Furthermore, the Least number of jobs in healthcare starting at only 3 millions jobs and day by day the amount of job were increase almost 12 million in 2000 and at the end of the period the employment rate crossed 15 million in 2020.

On the other hand, in 1960 agriculture and retail employment rate o were same number around 6 million jobs and after that agriculture number of jobs were decreased gradually around 4 million in 1980 and day by day the ratio was decreased approximately 2 million jobs in 2020. In contrast the retail employment rate increased rapidly around 15 million jobs in 2000 and after 20 year the ratio reached at 16 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare. However, the overview is somewhat weak and lacks precision. The data reporting is generally accurate, but there is a tendency to rely on repetitive phrasing like 'day by day' and 'the ratio were', which obscures the clarity of the data. While the main features are highlighted, the comparison between sectors could be more sophisticated to reach a higher band. The response provides a clear summary of the trends, but the lack of a more analytical overview prevents it from reaching a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand', though some of these are used in a slightly mechanical or repetitive way. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the sentences sometimes feels disjointed due to grammatical errors. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which helps the reader follow the information provided. Overall, the organisation is sufficient, but the flow could be improved with more varied linking words.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There is a heavy reliance on basic terms like 'number of jobs', 'amount of job', and 'employment rate'. The phrase 'day by day' is used incorrectly to describe long-term trends over decades, which is a significant lexical error. While the student attempts to use sector-specific terms, the lack of variety in reporting verbs and nouns limits the score. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', rather than repeating simple phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the ratio were decrease', 'amount of job were increase') and incorrect article usage (e.g., 'in the America'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of these errors prevents the response from achieving a higher band. The student needs to focus on basic sentence construction and ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects.

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