Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depics the amount of jobs in four different sectors ot the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. The date are showed in millions.

Overall, in the sectors of manufacturing and agriculture employment decreased over the years, where as retail and healthcare, it increased over the same period.

To begin with, manufacturing sector offered 15 millions of jobs in 1960, then it peaked at 20 millions in 1980 before failing to about 13 millions of jobs in end of the period. Moreover, agriculture produced just above 5 million jobs in the starting year and gradually decreased to about 4 million in 1980. Then it stayed stable until year 2000 before failing to about 2 millions of jobs in this sector.

Medical sector showed significant trend where it just had 3 millions of emplyments and soared dramaticallty all the years to create approximately 16 millions of jobs. Furthermore, retails sector had about 6 millions of jobs in 1960 which steadily climbed to almost same amount of jobs that healthcare produced in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the four sectors and describing their trends over the 60-year period. You successfully highlight the main features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the report could be improved by providing more precise data points. For instance, stating 'almost same amount' is vague; referencing the specific figures (e.g., 16 million) would demonstrate a more thorough analysis. Additionally, the overview is clear, but the body paragraphs could benefit from more explicit comparisons between the sectors to fully meet the requirements for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, and you use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' and 'Furthermore' to link your points. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'Medical sector showed significant trend' where an article ('a') is missing. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the overall structure allows the reader to follow the information easily, though the flow between sentences could be smoother to reach a higher level of cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'peaked,' 'soared,' and 'steadily climbed' to describe trends. However, there are several spelling errors ('depics,' 'emplyments,' 'dramaticallty,' 'failing' instead of 'falling') and word choice inaccuracies ('date are showed' instead of 'data are shown'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring the correct spelling of key terms related to data reporting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing sector offered 15 millions of jobs' (should be '15 million') and 'in end of the period' (missing 'the'). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear, and the grammar does not prevent the reader from understanding the data. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures and focusing on article usage would help elevate your score.

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