Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph is showing the comparison between the jobs in different sectors of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Firstly,the contribution of people were at peek in manufacturing sector and the ratio of working in healthcare sector was very low, if we compare all of the four sectors.The ratio of people increased in manufacturing and after reaching the maximum point the slope moved down and the downfall started from 1980.Afterwords,in the retail sector the working of staff is less than the manufacturing one.Furthermore ,there were a gradual increase in the jobs of retail sector.But there were gradual decrease in the field of agriculture.healthcare sector is the one that increased so rapidly .In other words we can say that the progress of healthcare jobs were so high.It had reached the jobs of about fifteen millions and the end point of retail was also the same to that of healthcare.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a basic overview of the trends but fails to highlight the main features effectively. While you mention the manufacturing peak and the growth in healthcare, the description is somewhat disjointed and lacks a clear, analytical summary. You mention 'the ratio of people' instead of the number of jobs, which is a slight inaccuracy in interpreting the data. Furthermore, the response lacks a clear comparison of the starting and ending points for all sectors, which is essential for a high-scoring Task 1 response. To improve, ensure you group the data logically and focus on the most significant changes rather than listing individual trends in a repetitive manner.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organized into a single paragraph, which makes it difficult to follow. There is a lack of clear paragraphing to separate the overview from the detailed analysis. While some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'In other words' are used, they are often placed awkwardly or used to connect ideas that are not logically sequenced. The flow of information is somewhat mechanical, and the lack of clear transitions between the different sectors makes the progression of ideas feel disjointed. Using clear paragraph breaks and a wider variety of linking phrases would significantly improve the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'ratio' and 'jobs' without much variation. Phrases like 'the contribution of people were at peek' and 'the progress of healthcare jobs were so high' are imprecise and unnatural. There are also issues with word choice, such as using 'working of staff' instead of 'employment levels'. To achieve a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant surge', and avoid repeating the same sentence structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement is a recurring issue, such as 'the contribution of people were' (should be 'was') and 'the progress... were' (should be 'was'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas (e.g., 'Firstly,the', 'Furthermore ,there'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensure that you use correct punctuation, including spaces after commas and periods, to make your writing more professional and easier to read.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.