Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph provides valuable details about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.Overall, the graph depicts that Number of jobs advertised by the healthcare and the retail sectors increased during the whole period. In Agriculture sector, job opportunities were higher in 1960 but decreased in later years. Manufacturing companies showed fluctuations in number of vacancies for the people. The Job opportunities were highest in 1980 then continuously decreased towards 2020.

If we look at the agriculture and the health care sector, these two sectors had limited number of vacancies in the past. The healthcare department employed nearly 2 million people in the 1960. This number increased to 10 million in 1980 and finally it reached to its highest number by providing jobs to 15 million people in the US. Similarly, retail sector was also seemed to continuously increased number of jobs throughout the period from 6 millions in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. In Contrast, the Agriculture sector provided more jobs to the people with 6 millions in 1960 but later showed gradual decrease in number of vacancies to 2.5 millions in 2020.The Manufacturing companies offered jobs to 15 million people in 1960. This number increased to highest with 20 million jobs in 1980 and then gradually decreased to 13 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. You provided a clear overview and supported your points with data from the graph. However, the report could be improved by better grouping of information. For instance, the manufacturing sector's peak in 1980 is a key feature that should be highlighted more clearly as a turning point. Additionally, ensure that all data points are accurate; for example, you mentioned the healthcare sector reached 15 million, but the graph shows it reaching 15 million by 2020. Overall, you have covered the requirements well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Similarly', 'In contrast', and 'Overall', which help the flow of information. However, the transition between sentences is sometimes a bit mechanical. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal structure of the second paragraph could be improved by grouping sectors with similar trends (e.g., the two growing sectors vs. the two declining sectors) rather than listing them individually, which would enhance the logical progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'vacancies', and 'gradual decrease'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'retail sector was also seemed to continuously increased' and 'healthcare department'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do prevent the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure consistent verb forms when describing trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'Number of jobs advertised... increased' (missing article), 'in the 1960' (should be 'in the 1960s'), and 'retail sector was also seemed to'. These errors occur frequently enough to be noticeable but do not cause significant confusion. To reach a higher band, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and passive voice constructions when describing data.

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