Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph deliberates about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, healthcare sector remains grow from 1980 to 2020 in the view of job but agriculture sector decrease from 1960 to 1980, whereas, 1980 to 2020 does not increase or decrease. But in 2020 slightly decrease.

Firstly, manufacturing sector slightly increase in terms of jobs from 1960 to 1980. After 1980, this portion towards downward till 2020. Adversely, retail sector remains upward from 1960 to till 2020. Additionally, healthcare sector follows the same policy. This sector grows step by step from 1960 to 2020. Lastly, agriculture sector adopted the policy of downward from 1960 to 2020.

In short, more number of jobs found in retail and agriculture sectors because these sectors remain upward from 1960 to 2020. Owing to high number of jobs, this sector remains suitable in the US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear or accurate summary of the data. The overview is confusing and contains factual errors, such as stating that the agriculture sector remained 'upward' from 1960 to 2020, when the graph clearly shows a significant decline. Furthermore, the description of the healthcare sector is imprecise, and the conclusion contradicts the visual evidence provided in the graph. The response lacks a clear focus on the main trends and fails to make meaningful comparisons between the sectors, resulting in an underdeveloped response that does not fully meet the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Additionally', 'In short'), they are often used incorrectly or in a mechanical way that does not enhance the flow of ideas. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between sentences is disjointed. The lack of a clear, logical structure makes it difficult for the reader to follow the analysis of the data, as the information is presented in a somewhat fragmented manner.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The range of vocabulary is limited and often inappropriate for an academic report. There is a reliance on basic, repetitive phrasing such as 'remains grow', 'remains upward', and 'adopted the policy of'. The student struggles with word choice and collocation, leading to unnatural expressions like 'this portion towards downward' and 'follows the same policy'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of the message, and there is little evidence of the ability to use less common lexical items with precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. There are issues with verb tense consistency (e.g., 'remains grow', 'sector decrease'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or poorly constructed, and there is a lack of complex structures. Punctuation is generally functional, but the overall control of grammar is weak, with errors occurring in almost every sentence, which makes the text difficult to read at times.

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