Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about US economy four sectors which includes Manufacturing , Retail , Agriculture and Healthcare , from 1960 to 2020 .

Overall, Healthcare and Retail experienced sustainable growth over the period of time . Whereas, Agriculture and Manufacturing shown a downward trend in all four job sectors .

First, Health care starting from between 0 to 5 and rose up to 10 in the year 2000 before reaching its peak just above 15 at the year 2020. While, similar trend can be in Retail sector also where in 1960 its start same as the level of Health care sector than goes upto 15 million in year 2000 more than the Healthcare than he shown very minor growth and reach same at the peak of Healthcare sector nearly 16 million in year 2020. By Contrast , Manufacturing shown totally different trend from all three job sectors where in year 1960 it's start 15 million jobs and reach up to 20 million jobs in year 1980 before it steep decline and recorded less than 15 millions jobs only in 2020. While Agriculture sectors starts roughly around five in 1960 and than shown constant decline till 2020 with less 5 million jobs only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that Agriculture and Manufacturing showed a downward trend in 'all four' sectors, which contradicts your earlier statement that Healthcare and Retail grew. Additionally, the description of the Manufacturing trend is slightly confusing, and the claim that Agriculture 'starts roughly around five' is imprecise given the graph. To improve, ensure that your overview accurately reflects the data and that specific figures are cited with greater precision to support your comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'While, similar trend can be in Retail sector also' and 'than he shown' (referring to a sector as 'he') disrupt the flow. The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the logical progression is hindered by grammatical errors that make it difficult to follow the comparison between sectors. Using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'conversely', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') would improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors like 'rose up', 'shown', and 'starts'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'sustainable growth' (which is not the most appropriate term for job numbers) and 'than he shown' (incorrect pronoun usage). To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'gradual increase', and ensure that your word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There is a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. Frequent errors in verb tense (e.g., 'Manufacturing shown' instead of 'showed'), subject-verb agreement, and article usage (e.g., 'in year 1960') impede clarity. Additionally, the misuse of pronouns ('he shown') and punctuation errors, such as unnecessary spaces before commas, detract from the professional quality of the report. To improve, focus on mastering basic tense consistency and proofreading for common grammatical slips that occur when attempting more complex sentence structures.

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