Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
This line graph illustrate the information about the number of jobs in four different parts of the economy between the 1960 and 2020 in the United State. The four sectors include the manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. In line graph there are two sides one is x-axis and the other is y-axis. On x-axis there are jobs in millions and on y-axis there are years. There were less number of jobs in healthcare but retail and agriculture had same. But at that time there's a large number of jobs in manufacturing. with the passage of time there's a increased in the healthcare jobs. In 2020 healthcare and retail had same number of jobs. Agriculture jobs decreased more than in 1960. Retail and healthcare jobs gradually increased with the passage ot time. In 1960 there are between zero to ten millions jobs opportunity but in 2020 these are above fifteen millions jobs opportunities.
In conclusion, manufacturing job is about 20 million in 1980 but decreased to 13 millions in 2020. Retail and healthcare jobs steadily increased.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, but the analysis is superficial and lacks precision. While you identify some trends, the description of the data is often inaccurate or vague, such as stating 'retail and agriculture had same' in 1960, which is not supported by the graph. The conclusion introduces new data points (manufacturing in 1980) that were not mentioned in the body, which is poor practice. To improve, focus on selecting the most significant trends—such as the sharp decline in manufacturing or the steady growth in healthcare—and ensure your data points are accurately transcribed from the graph rather than generalized.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'with the passage of time'. Some sentences are placed abruptly, making the progression of information feel mechanical rather than logical. For example, the transition between describing the axes and the actual data trends is abrupt. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'subsequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') to connect your sentences and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits your ability to describe the trends effectively. You rely heavily on simple verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'there's a increased in the healthcare jobs' (should be 'an increase') and 'jobs opportunity' (should be 'job opportunities'). To reach a higher band, you need to incorporate more precise vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged', or 'remained stable', and ensure you are using the correct word forms (nouns vs. verbs).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('This line graph illustrate', 'there are between zero to ten millions jobs opportunity'), article usage ('the manufacturing'), and tense consistency. The sentence structures are mostly simple, with very few attempts at complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Additionally, try to combine simple sentences using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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