Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates information about jobs provided by diifferent sectors of US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the Retail and Healthcare sectors were showing highest job offering towards the end of the period. Conversaly, slightly decrease is noticed in Agriculture sector. Whereas, the manufacturing in first few years showing the highest rates of jobs but after that experienced a sharp decline.
The manufacturing sector was the largest sector for providing jobs from 1960 to 1980 stood at 20 million jobs while experiencing a sharp decline till the end and reaching approximately 17 millions job in 2020. In addition, the agriculture sector faces the decline throughout the trend standing at just 3 million jobs .
The Retail sector showing a massive surge of 15 million jobs in 2000 after that being slightly stable till 2020 reaching at just above 15 million jobs showing the same ending point as of agriculture.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting. For instance, you state that the Retail and Healthcare sectors were the highest at the end of the period, but the graph shows Healthcare and Retail as distinct lines, and your description of the Manufacturing sector's decline is somewhat imprecise regarding the specific figures. Additionally, you mention the Retail sector reached 15 million jobs in 2000, but the graph indicates this occurred later. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited with greater precision and that comparisons between sectors are more clearly articulated throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as the transition 'Conversaly, slightly decrease is noticed'. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the connection between sentences could be smoother. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall flow would benefit from a more varied range of linking words to connect the trends described in the body paragraphs more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, using terms like 'massive surge', 'sharp decline', and 'stable'. However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'job offering' instead of 'job opportunities' or 'job numbers', and 'standing at just 3 million jobs' which is slightly repetitive. There are also minor spelling errors like 'diifferent' and 'Conversaly'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is used accurately in context to describe statistical trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as 'Retail and Healthcare sectors were showing highest job offering' (missing articles) and 'slightly decrease is noticed' (incorrect word form). There are also issues with verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement, such as 'The manufacturing in first few years showing'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and article usage will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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