Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
As the years passed, humans progressed in technology and the number of jobs in some sectors got increased, however got decreased in some other sectors. So today we have a graph summarising this information and we have to select and report the main features and make comparisons where necessary.
First we got manufacturing sector. It is a source of income for most of the people since 1960. The jobs in this sector was at peak in 1980 but became a little less as the years went by. Secondly we have retail sector. It gained huge popularity and the number of jobs got impressive after 1980.
Agriculture is very necessary aspect of a human's life and people rely on it but unfortunately it doesn't get as much attention as it should get. The number of jobs in agriculture hasn't improved since 1960 however it got comparatively less in 2020. Lastly we have healthcare that plays a huge part in a person's healthy life. As different medicines and tools got discovered and invented, more and more people were started to get jobs in healthcare and this number got huge in 2020.
As concluded, by the passing years some sectors started giving more jobs to people, some remains the same and some stopped giving much jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to provide a clear overview of the data, which is a requirement for Task 1. Instead of summarizing the main trends, the writer includes personal opinions and irrelevant commentary, such as 'Agriculture is very necessary aspect of a human's life'. The description of the data is vague; for instance, using 'got impressive' or 'got huge' lacks the precision required for academic reporting. Key features, such as the specific starting and ending points or the intersection of trends, are not clearly highlighted. To improve, focus strictly on the data provided in the graph rather than offering subjective commentary on the sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organized into paragraphs, but the flow of information is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inappropriate, such as starting sentences with 'First we got' or 'As concluded'. The referencing is often unclear, and the progression of ideas lacks logical structure. The introduction is particularly weak as it includes instructions to the reader rather than an overview of the graph. Improving the use of linking words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in contrast' would help create a more professional and cohesive report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on informal phrases like 'got increased', 'got decreased', and 'got huge'. These expressions are not suitable for an academic report. There is a lack of precise terminology related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined', 'remained stable'). The student struggles to use collocations effectively, leading to awkward phrasing. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary for describing graphs and avoid informal, conversational language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and sentence structure. Examples include 'the number of jobs in this sector was at peak' (missing article) and 'more and more people were started to get jobs' (incorrect passive voice). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. While the meaning is generally understandable, the persistent errors in basic grammar and the lack of complex sentence structures hinder the overall quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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