Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The image displays a line graph information about he number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the us from 1960 to 2020.
overall, despite manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs in 1960, the figure experienced mostly downward trend,as agriculture experienced.healthcare,on the other hand,recorded the lowest number of jobs in 1960.in contrast, retail sector experienced a constant growth throughout the period.
what stand out from the grap hm is that manufacturing sector was popular in terms of job numbers,accounting for approximately 15 million.although the figure reached its peak level to 20 million in 1980, the number of jobs decreased dramatically to 17 million in 2000 and finished at 14 million in 2020.a similar tend was observed in agriculture sector.Despite,it had roughly 6 million jobs in 1960,the figure underwent a slight decline to 4 million in 1980 and ended with 2 million jobs in 2020.
turning the other sectors such as retail and healthcare ,both of them underwent a permament growth.thme number of jobs in healthmcare sector reached to 15 million at the end.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You highlighted the key features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the response is slightly under-developed in the final paragraph, where you mention the healthcare sector but fail to provide a complete comparison or sufficient detail regarding the retail sector's trajectory. To reach a higher band, ensure that all four sectors are described with equal attention to detail and that comparisons between them are more explicitly stated throughout the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'overall', 'in contrast', and 'on the other hand'. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by mechanical errors in punctuation and spacing, such as missing spaces after commas and periods. Furthermore, some transitions feel slightly forced or repetitive. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent paragraph structure will help the information flow more naturally. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the overall cohesion would benefit from more sophisticated signposting.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, using terms like 'downward trend', 'peak level', and 'constant growth'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'grap hm', 'permament', and 'healthmcare'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure you proofread for spelling accuracy. Expanding your range to include more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also help demonstrate a higher level of lexical control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that impede the flow. Examples include 'despite manufacturing sector had', which should be 'despite the manufacturing sector having', and 'reached to 15 million', which should be 'reached 15 million'. Additionally, there are consistent issues with capitalization and missing spaces after punctuation marks. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these minor errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.