Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph show comparison between number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from [redacted phone].
It shows in 1960 there were 15million manufacturing jobs. It increases to 20 million with in 20 year duration , then again goes in declining phase till 2020.
The retailer job is in increasing patterns goes from 5 million to 15 million in 60 year span .
There is Sprisely decrease in agriculture sector jobs as graph showing 6 million jobs in 1960 , that goes to 2.5million in 2020 Declined half to its starting point, the main cause will be more advancement in agriculture sector along with heavy use of machinery that leads to decrease in agriculture sector job men power.
The health sector show significant continuously incline. In 1960 there were 2.5 million jobs available that becomes twice in 1980. In 2000 it becomes double . In 2020 it's goes to 15 million, this show there is constant 5 million increases in job over 20 year span
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response identifies the main trends for the four sectors, but the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks a clear overview. While you mention the sectors, you do not provide a cohesive summary of the overall trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing/agriculture to service-based sectors). Additionally, you include personal speculation regarding the causes of the trends (e.g., 'the main cause will be more advancement in agriculture'), which is not required in an Academic Task 1 report. To improve, focus strictly on describing the data presented in the graph without adding external explanations or opinions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into short paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas; for example, the transition between the manufacturing and retail sectors is abrupt. The use of referencing is also limited, making the text feel like a list of observations rather than a coherent report. To improve, use linking words such as 'In contrast,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Conversely' to connect your points and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, rather than jumping between different sectors within the same paragraph.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and basic. You frequently use simple verbs like 'shows,' 'goes,' and 'becomes.' There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'Sprisely decrease' (likely a spelling error for 'sharp' or 'slight') and 'job men power.' To reach a higher band, you should use a wider range of precise vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a downward trend.' Avoid informal phrasing and ensure that your terminology is accurate for describing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'The graph show,' 'The health sector show') and incorrect verb tenses. Sentence structures are generally simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around numbers and units (e.g., '2.5million'). To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensure you use consistent tenses when describing past data. Incorporating more complex structures, such as relative clauses or participial phrases, would also help demonstrate a wider grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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