Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The illustration shows the number data of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2000.
According to this graph retail and healthcare sectors jobs has shown increased after 1980. Manufacturing sector jobs has increased in 1980, and comparing 1960 to 2020 it is the most highest jobs in all four sectors. After 1980 manufacturing sector shows decreased the jobs in the economy. When 2020 manufacturing jobs in economy has decreased into 12M that is lower than Retail and healthcare.
Agriculture jobs shown decreased by decade to decade and when it became 2020 only 2.5M agricultural jobs in economy. Cooomparing to all these four jobs in economy healthcare sector shown significant improvement in job market. In 2020 Retail and healthcare sectors jobs are equal as 16M.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you identify some key trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth of healthcare and retail, the analysis is incomplete. You misinterpret the data regarding manufacturing, claiming it is the 'most highest' in 2020 when the graph shows it declining significantly. Furthermore, the overview is weak and lacks a clear summary of the overall trends. To improve, ensure you cover all sectors, provide accurate data points, and write a more comprehensive summary that highlights the main features rather than just listing individual data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'in 2020' or 'after 1980'. Some sentences lack logical flow, making it difficult to follow the comparison between sectors. For example, the transition between the discussion of manufacturing and agriculture is abrupt. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'in contrast', 'meanwhile', 'subsequently') to connect your ideas more fluidly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'jobs', 'increased', and 'decreased'. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'most highest' (a double superlative) and 'shown decreased by decade to decade'. The phrasing 'number data of jobs' is unnatural. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends and data, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surpassed', or 'remained stable'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repetition and demonstrate a better command of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'retail and healthcare sectors jobs has shown' and 'manufacturing sector jobs has increased'. Additionally, there are errors in sentence structure, such as 'When 2020 manufacturing jobs in economy has decreased into 12M'. The use of articles is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions and articles. You should also aim to include a mix of simple and complex sentences to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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