Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs until the last period. Meanwhile, retail and healthcare showed the significant increase over the period and became the highest jobs field, on the other hand, agriculture job sector remained lowest number of jobs field.
In 1960, manufacturing sector had 15 million of jobs, followed by retail retail and agriculture with around 6 million, and healthcare with about 4 million. However, by 1980, manufacturing reached 20 million, which was the highest number of jobs among all over the period. After that, manufacturing showed gradual decrease to around 13 million.
The sector of retail and healthcare showed rapid increase over the period. In 2000, retail sector peaked at 15 million jobs, wheres the healthcare also showed gradual increase but peaked at around 11 million that year. Moreover, in the last period, both sectors increased to approximately 16 million, which was the highest number of jobs among all sectors. On the other hand, agriculture field showed gradual decrease. It has decreased from 6 million to about 4 million in 1980 and showed continuous decrease to about 2 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the main trends, such as the rise of retail and healthcare and the decline of agriculture. However, the overview is slightly imprecise; for instance, stating that retail and healthcare 'became the highest jobs field' is a bit vague without specifying the timeframe. Additionally, some data points are slightly inaccurate, such as the claim that manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980, which is not clearly supported by the visual data. To improve, ensure your overview highlights the most significant overall trends and double-check your data points to ensure they align precisely with the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. The progression of ideas is generally clear. You use some cohesive devices such as 'meanwhile', 'on the other hand', and 'however' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'the last period', which could be more specific. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure helps the reader follow the comparison of the four sectors effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'peaked', 'gradual decrease', and 'sectors'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'highest jobs field' instead of 'sector with the highest number of jobs' and 'retail retail' (a repetition error). While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the range is somewhat limited and occasionally repetitive. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied ways of describing trends and ensure your collocations are natural and precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the manufacturing sector', 'the retail sector') and issues with preposition usage ('in 15 million of jobs'). There are also some minor punctuation and phrasing errors, such as 'wheres the healthcare also showed'. These errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on article usage and subject-verb agreement will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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