Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The provided/ given/ presented/ line graph illustrates the employment levels in four different sectors of the US over the period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the graph reveals that manufacturing was the largest employer in the earlier years, followed by the retail and agriculture sectors, which saw the similar considerable/ changes. While healthcare remained relatively stable at a lower level.

In detail, in 1960, manufacturing accounted for 15 million jobs in the first 20 years, rising from 15% to 20%, the data then had a sharp decline in the later year/ terminal years , dropping almost 8%. Likewise, retail stood at 6 million job occupancy, which rose till 15 millions in the next 40 years. The figure l

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the response is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence ('The figure l'). While you successfully identified the main trends for manufacturing and retail, the analysis is underdeveloped. You attempted to describe the data, but the lack of completion means you did not fully report on all four sectors or provide a comprehensive summary of the main features as required by the prompt. To improve, ensure you complete the task by covering all data points and meeting the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph, which is a good start. However, the abrupt ending disrupts the logical flow and cohesion of the response. The use of cohesive devices is limited; while you used 'While' and 'Likewise' to connect ideas, the overall structure feels fragmented due to the incomplete nature of the text. To improve, focus on ensuring each paragraph is fully developed and that transitions between sentences are smooth and complete.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

You have a basic range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends, such as 'illustrates', 'sharp decline', and 'remained relatively stable'. However, there are issues with word choice and formatting, such as the inclusion of slashes ('provided/ given/ presented/') which is inappropriate for a formal IELTS essay. Additionally, some phrasing is awkward, such as 'job occupancy'. To reach a higher band, avoid listing synonyms and focus on using precise, academic vocabulary in a natural, fluent manner.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, 'which saw the similar considerable/ changes' is grammatically incorrect. There are also issues with sentence fragments and incomplete thoughts. While some sentences are clear, the grammatical control is inconsistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that your complex sentences are constructed accurately. Proofreading for basic errors will also help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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