Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph gives the data on the number of jobs in four economical sectors in US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing sectors had highest jobs in starting that peaked to 25 million and then declined. Manufacturing and Health care sectors had shown a significant growth though the period.
Starting with jobs related with manufacturing was highest in 1960 around 15 million, that peaked at 20 million in 1980 the highest amount of jobs in whole graph. After that the numbers decreased to approximately 13 million in 2020. However, Healthcare sectors starting from lowest about 2 million in 1960 increased to 5 million in 1980 and then after showing a sharp increase to 16 million in 2020.
Same goes with the Retail sector, at start the number was a low at 6 million, then they gradually increased to16 million in 2020 equal to healthcare. However, the Agriculture sector started at same numbers of jobs to retail sector 6 million in 1980 and the numbers gradually decreased to roughly 2.5 million in 2020, the lowest figure in graph.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends and identifies key features such as the peak in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980, while the graph shows the peak occurred earlier, around 1970. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector is slightly confusing, as you mention it started at 6 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows data starting from 1960. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the years and figures to avoid misinterpretation of the visual data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'After that', and 'Same goes with' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Same goes with the Retail sector', which is informal for an academic report. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the final paragraph could be improved by using more varied linking phrases to contrast the agriculture and retail trends more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'economical sectors', 'significant growth', and 'gradually increased'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'economical sectors' (should be 'economic sectors') and 'highest jobs in starting' (should be 'highest number of jobs at the beginning'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, incorporating more precise academic collocations would elevate the response. The spelling is generally accurate, but the phrasing is occasionally repetitive.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Manufacturing and Health care sectors had shown' (tense inconsistency) and 'at same numbers of jobs to retail sector' (missing articles and awkward prepositional usage). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some missing commas in complex sentences. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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