Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line graph provides the data on the number of jobs in four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector had highest jobs initially, peaking at 20 million before declining. By contrast jobs in Retail and the Healthcare sectors increased considerably, while agriculture experienced a steady decline.

Manufacturing employment was highest in 1960, at around 15 million jobs, that peaked at 20 million in 1980 the highest amount of jobs in the graph. After that the numbers decreased to approximately 13 million in 2020. However, the Healthcare sector starting from lowest about 2 million in 1960 increased to 5 million in 1980 and then after showing a sharp increase to 16 million in 2020.

A similar trend can be seen in the Retail sector, at start the figure stood at 6 million, then they gradually increased to 16 million in 2020 same as the figure of healthcare. However, the Agriculture sector started at same numbers of jobs to retail sector 6 million in 1980 and the numbers gradually decreased to roughly 2.5 million in 2020, the lowest figure in the graph

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the peak for manufacturing and the significant growth in healthcare and retail. However, there is a factual error regarding the agriculture sector; you stated it started at 6 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows it starting at 6 million in 1960. Additionally, the overview is slightly thin; while it identifies the main trends, it could be more analytical by explicitly contrasting the overall growth of service-based sectors against the decline of traditional ones. Despite these minor inaccuracies and the need for a more comprehensive overview, the main features are clearly reported.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'However', and 'A similar trend', which help the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. For instance, the transition between the healthcare and retail sections could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which aids readability. To reach a higher band, ensure that the logical flow between sentences is more seamless and that referencing (e.g., 'the same numbers') is handled with greater precision.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'peaking', 'declining', 'considerably', and 'steady'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing, such as 'at start the figure stood at' and 'same numbers of jobs to retail sector'. These do not impede communication, but they limit the sophistication of the response. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and a wider variety of reporting verbs or nouns to describe the trends, rather than relying on basic structures. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'had highest jobs' (missing 'the'), 'that peaked at' (incorrect relative clause usage), and 'starting from lowest about 2 million' (missing 'the'). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are slightly clunky due to missing articles or awkward phrasing. The errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the data, but they indicate a need for more careful proofreading of basic grammatical structures like articles, prepositions, and verb tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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