Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph provides the data on the number of jobs in four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing sector had the highest jobs initially, peaking at 20 million before declining. By contrast jobs in Retail and the Healthcare sectors increased considerably, while agriculture experienced a steady decline.
Manufacturing employment was highest in 1960, at around 15 million jobs, which peaked at 20 million in 1980 the highest amount of jobs in the graph. After that the numbers decreased to approximately 13 million in 2020. However, the Healthcare sector starting from the lowest about 2 million in 1960 increased to 5 million in 1980 and then after showing a sharp increase to 16 million in 2020.
A similar trend can be seen in the Retail sector, at start the figure stood at 6 million, then it gradually increased to 16 million in 2020, same as the figure of healthcare. However, the Agriculture sector started at the same numbers of jobs as the retail sector 6 million in 1980 and the numbers gradually decreased to roughly 2.5 million in 2020, the lowest figure in the graph
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response successfully identifies the main trends and makes relevant comparisons between the four sectors. You have clearly highlighted the peak of the manufacturing sector and the contrasting growth in healthcare and retail. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, you mention the agriculture sector started at 6 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows it starting in 1960. Additionally, the description of the healthcare sector's growth is slightly confusing due to the phrasing 'then after showing a sharp increase'. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed from the graph and that the chronological progression is described with greater precision.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group the sectors effectively. You use cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'However', and 'A similar trend' to guide the reader. While the structure is generally sound, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be smoother. For example, the final sentence of the third paragraph is a bit disjointed. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents would enhance the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'peaking', 'declining', 'considerably', and 'gradually'. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, though some word choices are slightly repetitive or imprecise, such as 'the highest amount of jobs' instead of 'the highest number of jobs'. Spelling is generally accurate, and the vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations related to data trends, such as 'witnessed a downward trajectory' or 'experienced a significant surge'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use complex sentences, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'at start the figure stood' (should be 'at the start') and 'same as the figure of healthcare' (which lacks a verb or proper comparative structure). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some missing commas that would help clarify the sentence structure. The majority of your sentences are clear, and errors do not impede communication, but more consistent control over complex grammatical forms is needed for a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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