Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph provides the data on the number of jobs in four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing sector had the highest jobs initially, peaking at 20 million before declining. By contrast jobs in Retail and the Healthcare sectors increased considerably, while the agriculture sector experienced a steady decline.
Manufacturing employment was highest in 1960, at around 15 million jobs, which peaked at 20 million in 1980 the highest amount of jobs in the graph. After that it witnessed a downward trajectory to approximately 13 million in 2020. However, the Healthcare sector starting from the lowest about 2 million in 1960 increased to 5 million in 1980 and then experienced a significant surge to 16 million in 2020.
A similar trend can be seen in the Retail sector at start the figure stood at 6 million, then it gradually increased to 16 million in 2020, same as the figure of healthcare. However, the Agriculture sector started at the same numbers of jobs as the retail sector 6 million in 1980 and the numbers gradually decreased to roughly 2.5 million in 2020, the lowest figure in the graph.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the peak for manufacturing and the significant growth in healthcare and retail. The overview is clear and highlights the main trends effectively. However, there is a factual error regarding the agriculture sector: you stated it started at 6 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows it starting at 6 million in 1960. Additionally, the comparison between retail and healthcare at the end is accurate, but the overall analysis could be strengthened by more precise comparisons between the sectors at different time intervals to fully meet the requirements for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group the sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'However', and 'A similar trend' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by minor punctuation errors and slightly mechanical transitions. For instance, the sentence 'at start the figure stood at 6 million' lacks a comma and proper phrasing. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother sentence-to-sentence transitions would elevate the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trajectory', 'significant surge', and 'economic sectors'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'at start' instead of 'at the start' and 'same as the figure of healthcare', which is slightly clunky. While you successfully use some topic-specific vocabulary, the range is somewhat limited. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing when describing trends and figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, particularly with articles and prepositions (e.g., 'the Healthcare sector', 'the Agriculture sector'—these do not require the definite article here). There are also some punctuation issues, such as missing commas after introductory phrases and run-on sentences like 'at 1980 the highest amount of jobs in the graph'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do prevent the writing from being considered error-free.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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