Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The given line graph provides the data on the number of jobs in four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector had the most jobs initially, peaking at 20 million before declining. By contrast, jobs in Retail and the Healthcare sectors increased considerably, while the agriculture sector experienced a steady decline.

Manufacturing employment was highest in 1960, at around 15 million jobs, which peaked at 20 million in 1980, the highest amount of jobs in the graph. After that, it witnessed a downward trajectory to approximately 13 million in 2020. However, the Healthcare sector, starting from the lowest about 2 million in 1960 increased to 5 million in 1980 and then experienced a significant surge to 16 million in 2020.

A similar trend can be seen in the Retail sector. At start the figure stood at 6 million, then it gradually increased to 16 million in 2020, same as the figure of healthcare. However, the Agriculture sector started at the same number of jobs as the retail sector 6 million in 1980 and the numbers gradually decreased to roughly 2.5 million in 2020, the lowest figure in the graph.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting that the Healthcare and Retail sectors ended at the same point. However, there is a factual error in your final paragraph: you state that the Agriculture sector started at 6 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows this data point for 1960. Additionally, while you mention the peak for manufacturing, you could have more explicitly contrasted the growth of service-based sectors against the decline of primary and secondary industries to further strengthen your analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'However', and 'A similar trend' to guide the reader through the data. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends. To reach a higher band, ensure that your referencing is precise; for example, in the final paragraph, the phrase 'At start' is slightly awkward and could be improved with a more formal cohesive transition like 'Initially' or 'At the beginning of the period'.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends accurately, using terms like 'downward trajectory', 'significant surge', and 'gradually increased'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'the highest amount of jobs' (should be 'the highest number of jobs') and 'At start' (should be 'At the start'). While you use some less common vocabulary, further variety in reporting verbs and adverbs would enhance the sophistication of your writing. The vocabulary is generally precise enough to communicate your points clearly without difficulty.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most of your sentences are clear, and errors are infrequent. There are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'the figure of healthcare' (should be 'the figure for the healthcare sector') and missing articles in phrases like 'in Retail and the Healthcare sectors'. Punctuation is generally sound, though some sentences could benefit from more careful comma placement to improve flow. Overall, your control of grammar is good, and the occasional errors do not impede the reader's understanding of the data.

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