Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph shows the information about number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy that are manufacturing,retail,agriculture and heathcare.

The graph depicts that there were 2.5 million jobs in healthcare industry in 1960.It gradually increased to 15 million jobs in 2020.In agriculture,the number of jobs were approximately 5.2 million in 1960 but it slowly decreased to around 2 milion jobs in 2020.Health sector went to peak in context of jobs but agiculture sector went to decline phase.

In retail sector, there were approximately 5.2 million jobs in 1960.This sector also went to high in context of jobs.This sector had 15.1 million jobs in 2020.At the end,manufacturing sector showed a decline because this sector had 15 million jobs in 1960 but this had kept 10.8 million jobs in 2020.In1980, jobs reached to 20 million.After that decline phase had started.

In conclusion,healthcare and retail sector went high in context of jobs.On the other hand,manufacturing and retail industry went to decline phase.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the four sectors of the US economy and reporting their key trends between 1960 and 2020. The student successfully selects and reports main features, noting, for instance, that healthcare and retail grew significantly while agriculture declined. Comparisons are made between the categories, such as contrasting the rise in healthcare with the drop in agriculture. However, some data points are slightly imprecise or lack full development, and the conclusion contains a contradiction by stating that 'manufacturing and retail industry went to decline phase' when retail actually increased. Despite these minor inaccuracies, the overall overview is present and the main trends are adequately highlighted, meeting the requirements for a band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical progression, moving from an introductory overview to body paragraphs detailing specific sectors and finishing with a conclusion. Paragraphing is attempted, though the division could be structured more cleanly. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In the retail sector', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', but referencing and linking can be somewhat repetitive or mechanical. For example, sentences frequently start with direct subject-verb patterns without smooth transitional embedding. Paragraphing rules are followed, but the logical flow between sentences is occasionally choppy, placing this response firmly in the band 5.5 to 6.0 range.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic sectors ('manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', 'healthcare') and trend language ('gradually increased', 'slowly decreased', 'decline phase'). However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'went to peak', 'went to high', and 'this sector had kept 10.8 million jobs'. Furthermore, there is a contradiction in the conclusion where 'retail' is mistakenly grouped with manufacturing as declining. Spelling is generally acceptable, but spacing errors occur frequently (e.g., missing spaces after commas and periods). These issues place the lexical resource at a band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing past simple tenses appropriately to describe historical data ('there were 2.5 million jobs', 'it gradually increased'). However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are frequent missing articles ('in healthcare industry', 'in agriculture'), punctuation errors (missing spaces after periods and commas throughout the text), and awkward phrasing like 'jobs reached to 20 million' instead of 'reached 20 million'. Complex structures are attempted but often contain minor errors. While these errors do not impede overall communication, their frequency prevents the writing from reaching a higher band, making 5.0 an accurate reflection of current grammatical control.

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