Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the given graph indicates information number of jobs in four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in us 1960 between 2020
overall, it is evident that, retail and healthcare are the highest number of economy sector. and the manufacturing are the lowest in these jobs.
to expound the data in detail, around 7 million jobs are available in retail sector.it experienced upward trend to 15 million till year 2000. Subsequently this slightly increased to 18 million in 2020. Additionally, in 1960 healthcare sector hade 7 million jobs. it rose marginally to 10 million in 1980. Afterwards, it experienced dramatic increase to 15 million in 2020.
To probing ahead, in 1960, manufacturing sector have 15 million jobs, and it rose up gradually to 20 million in 1980. Therefore, it experienced decreasing trend to 18 million in 2020. In addition to, 7 million jobs are available in agriculture sector in 1960. It fell marginally by 3 million jobs. Meanwhile, it experienced some variations and figured around to 3 million jobs in 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph regarding the four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020. An overview is provided, noting that retail and healthcare represented high numbers of jobs while manufacturing was initially high and changed over time. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and interpretation. For instance, the student states that the retail sector experienced an upward trend to 15 million in 2000, and manufacturing 'have 15 million jobs' in 1960, which do not fully align with standard readings of the provided prompt details. Furthermore, the summarisation lacks a comprehensive comparison across all sectors. Because some ideas are slightly inaccurate or under-developed, this places the response at a band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The text is divided into four paragraphs, which provides a basic organisational structure including an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs detailing the data. However, cohesive devices are often mechanical, repetitive, or misused. Phrases such as 'to expound the data in detail', 'To probing ahead', and 'Therefore, it experienced decreasing trend' disrupt the natural flow of the writing. Paragraphing is also somewhat erratic, with body paragraphs crammed with multiple trends without clear logical progression. Reference pronouns and referencing links are occasionally unclear. Overall, the coherence and cohesion reflect the descriptors for a band 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, relying heavily on terms like 'jobs', 'sector', 'million', 'rose', and 'experienced'. There are numerous collocation and word choice inaccuracies, such as 'highest number of economy sector' instead of 'largest economic sectors', 'hade' instead of 'had', and 'have' instead of 'had'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with limited success ('dramatic increase', 'marginally'). Because the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic information but contains noticeable errors and repetition, a band 5.0 is appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentences, but grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the response. There are frequent errors in verb tense, agreement, and punctuation. Examples include lowercase beginnings at the start of sentences ('the given graph...', 'overall, it is...'), incorrect tense usage ('manufacturing sector have 15 million jobs' in 1960), and missing articles ('in us 1960 between 2020'). Complex structures are often faulty and require effort from the reader to untangle. These frequent errors place the grammatical performance firmly at band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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