Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph provides the data about the number of jobs in four zones of the economy, over a sixty year period from 1960 to 2020 in United states.

Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there were considerable upward trends in the sector of Healthcare and Retail, while there considerable fall in the sector of Agriculture and manufacturing over ther period in question.

Looking at the details, in 1960 the manufacturing sector was at 15 millions, it was higher as compare to others, then it rapidly increased from 15 millions in 1960 to 20 millions in 1980, as highest in all four sectors, after that it was rapidly fell from 1980 to 2020 at almost 13 millions.

while retail sector rapidly increased from 6 millions to 15 millions till 2000 then it almost remained constant at16 millions from 2000 to 2020, while similar to this healthcare scetor jobs rapidly rose from 3 millions to 16 millions from 1960 to 2020, this sector continously increased the job ratio in US.

In contrast, agriculture sector fell from 6 millions to 3 millions from 1960 to 1980 then it remain constant at that point from 1980 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student successfully covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An appropriate overview is provided in the second paragraph, highlighting the upward trends in Healthcare and Retail, and the downward or fluctuating trends in Agriculture and Manufacturing. Key data points, such as the peak of manufacturing at 20 millions and the rise of healthcare to 16 millions, are selected and compared. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting specific data figures, such as stating that manufacturing was at 15 millions in 1960 when the graph indicates a slightly lower starting point, and minor over-generalizations in data tracking. Overall, the task is adequately addressed, placing the response solidly in Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs separating the trends. Paragraphing is used to group related information effectively. However, cohesion within sentences is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The heavy reliance on comma splices and coordinating conjunctions like 'while' and 'then' without proper punctuation creates run-on structures that weaken logical progression. For example, sentences such as 'while retail sector rapidly increased from 6 millions to 15 millions till 2000 then it almost remained constant at16 millions from 2000 to 2020, while similar to this healthcare scetor jobs rapidly rose...' demonstrate a lack of controlled cohesive devices. Referencing and linking are occasionally repetitive, leading to a Band 6 performance for cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic sectors ('healthcare', 'retail', 'manufacturing', 'agriculture') and directional language ('upward trends', 'fall', 'increased', 'rose'). However, there are several lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as spelling 'scetor' instead of 'sector', and referring to 'zones' of the economy instead of sectors. Less common vocabulary is attempted with occasional inaccuracies in collocation or phrasing, such as 'job ratio' instead of 'number of jobs'. Spelling and word-choice errors do not impede overall communication, but they prevent the response from achieving a higher band, making Band 6 appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting comparative structures and time clauses. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are frequent punctuation errors, notably severe run-on sentences and comma splices, as seen in 'in 1960 the manufacturing sector was at 15 millions, it was higher as compare to others, then it rapidly increased...'. Errors in prepositions and verb forms also occur, such as 'as highest in all four sectors' and 'it was rapidly fell'. While simple sentences are generally understandable, complex structures are frequently faulty. These persistent errors place the grammar score at Band 5.5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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