Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
THE BAR GRAPH DEPICTS KNOWLEDGE ABOUT FOUR DISTICTIVE JOBS OF THE ECONOMY IN UNITED STATE DURING 1920 TO 2020.
CONSIDERING FROM AN OVERALL PERSPECTIVE THAT IT CAN BE COMPREHENSIVELY OBSERVED THAT, HIGHEST JOBS NUMBER MANUFACTURING JOBS HAD AVAILABLE IN US IN 1960.HOWEVER LOWEST NUMBER OF JOBS HEALTHCARE JOBS WERE AVAILABLE IN IN US IN 1960.
TO COMMENCE WITH, IN 1960 MANUFACTURING JOBS ARE HIGH 15 MILLIONS. HOWEVER LOWEST NUMBER OF JOBS WERE AVAILABLE IN SECTOR OF HEALTHCARE WHICH ARE 3 MILLIONS. INTERESTINGLY JOB SECTOR OF RETAIL AND AGRICULTURE HAD SIMILAR NUMBERS OF JOBS 6 MILLIONS. MOREOVER IN 1980 MANUFACTURING JOB ENHANCE 5 MILLION WHICH IS 20 MILLION .MOREOVER RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE JOBS ARE INCREASED FORMAR HAD 10 MILLIONS AND LATTR HAD 5 MILLIONS RESPECTIVELY.
TRAGICALLY SECTOR OF AGRICULTURE JOBS WERE DECREASED IN YEAR 1980 WHICH 4 MILLIONS. FURTHERMORE , IN YEAR 2000 RETAIL JOBS ARE INCREASED WHICH 15 MILLION , AS WELL AS HEALTHCARE SECTOR JOBS ALSO INCREASED TO 11 MILLIONS.NEVERTHLESS AGRICULTURE JOBS WERE REMAINED CONSTANT TILL 2000.ADDITIONALLY MANUFACTURING JOBS WERE DECREASED TO 13 MILLIONS , AGRICULTURE JOBS ALSO DECREASED TO 3 MILLIONS. HOWEVER , RETAIL JOBS AND HEALTHCARE SECTORS INCREASED AND ACHIVED SAME NUMBERS OF JOBS 15 MILLIONS RESPECTIVELY.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, identifying the highest and lowest job sectors in 1960 and tracking some changes over time for manufacturing, healthcare, retail, and agriculture. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the reporting of data points and dates. For instance, the prompt states the data ranges from 1960 to 2020, but the student refers to '1920' in the opening sentence. Furthermore, descriptions of data movements are frequently confusing, such as claiming manufacturing jobs were '15 millions' in 1960 when the graph shows a different figure, and stating inconsistent data for subsequent years. While the general overview attempts to summarise main trends, the lack of precision and inaccurate reporting of figures limit the overall development, aligning this response with Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which helps establish a basic structure. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by poor organization and mechanical cohesive devices, such as 'TO COMMENCE WITH,' 'TRAGICALLY,' and 'FURTHERMORE,' which are used inappropriately given the context of a statistical data report. Referencing is often unclear, with pronouns and terms like 'FORMAR HAD' and 'LATTR HAD' containing spelling errors and confusing tracking of data. There is an over-reliance on repetitive sentence openers and awkward transitions between data points, resulting in a disjointed flow that restricts the score to Band 5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, relying heavily on fundamental terms like 'jobs,' 'sectors,' 'economy,' 'increased,' and 'decreased.' There are numerous spelling mistakes ('DISTICTIVE' instead of distinctive, 'FORMAR' for former, 'LATTR' for latter, 'ACHIVED' for achieved) and non-standard word formations like 'JOB SECTOR OF RETAIL.' While the student attempts to use some less common vocabulary, inaccuracies in word choice and spelling are noticeable and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement and tense usage, such as 'MANUFACTURING JOBS ARE HIGH 15 MILLIONS' and 'AGRICULTURE JOBS WERE REMAINED CONSTANT.' Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after commas and erratic use of capitalization throughout the entire response. Complex structures are attempted but are almost always faulty, leading to frequent errors that impede clear communication, justifying a Band 4.5 score, rounded to 5.0 based on positive marking.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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