Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided line graph demonstrate the number of occupation in four different parts of economy in a specific country between [redacted phone].

Overall, the retail and healthcare section experienced a significant surge in the following years, while manufacturing rose then decline and agriculture decreases to last position in graph.

In 1960, the manufacturing category leads the graph with 15 millions and surged in 1980 to 20 million then gradually decreased lower than 15 million in 2020. Meanwhile, healthcare and retail sections started from under 10 million, healthcare had the lowest jobs, both experienced a significant arose and both are last on same value in 2020 with above 15 million. The healthcare and retail portion gained 5 million and 10 million work in 1980.

Ultimately, the agriculture sector diminishes, started from approximately 6 million and then decreased nearly 4 million in 1980, then constantly declines with less than 5 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The student correctly identifies the general trends, noting the significant surge in retail and healthcare, the fluctuating pattern of manufacturing, and the decline of agriculture. Key data points are cited, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and agriculture dropping to around 4 million. However, there are minor inaccuracies in reporting the final values for 2020, where the text states healthcare and retail are 'above 15 million' on the same value, whereas the visual data shows distinct figures. Despite these minor lapses, the overview is clear and the main trends are adequately covered, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptor for addressing all parts of the task with relevant ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure consisting of an introduction, an overview, and supporting body paragraphs. Cohesive devices and transition markers such as 'Overall', 'Meanwhile', and 'Ultimately' are employed to guide the reader through the data. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally faulty or confusing, notably in sentences like 'both experienced a significant arose and both are last on same value in 2020'. Paragraphing is utilized, but the internal logical progression within sentences occasionally becomes tangled due to cramped clauses and awkward linking. This reflects the characteristics of Band 6, where the essay is coherent overall but features mechanical or slightly faulty cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic sectors and statistical trends such as 'surge', 'gradually decreased', 'diminishes', and 'category'. There are, however, several lexical errors and inappropriate word choices throughout the text, including 'demonstrate' instead of 'demonstrates', 'section' used instead of 'sector', and the non-standard noun form 'arose' used as a noun ('a significant arose'). Spelling is generally correct, but word-formation errors and slight inaccuracies in collocation prevent the score from reaching a higher band. The vocabulary is minimally sufficient to convey the intended meaning without severely impeding communication, fitting the Band 6 criteria.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and time markers. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There is a noticeable subject-verb agreement error in the opening sentence ('The provided line graph demonstrate'). Furthermore, tense consistency is occasionally disrupted, and some complex constructions break down structurally, such as 'healthcare had the lowest jobs, both experienced a significant arose and both are last on same value'. Punctuation and comma splices also detract from grammatical flow. Because the errors in grammar and punctuation occur regularly alongside mixed sentence structures but rarely impede overall communication, a Band 5.5 is appropriate.

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