Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph track the information about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, jobs in retail industry are highly in demand over sixty decades while employment in agriculture sector gradually declining.
Jobs in manufacturing industry was at its highest point in the year of 1980 and afterwards showing downward trend. Furthermore, jobs in retail industry continuously in demand throughout the timeline. The employess in healthcare sector in 1960 was roughly 3 millions after showing steady growth this number is 2020 was alomost 16 millions.
Agriculture sector employment was at 6 millions in 1960 this was it's hight employment rate and after that reached its lowest point in 2020 at nearly 1 Million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, mentioning trends for retail, manufacturing, healthcare, and agriculture between 1960 and 2020. However, the task achievement is significantly undermined by two major factors: first, the response is severely under-length, containing only 123 words against the required 150 minimum, which directly impacts the fullness of the response. Second, there are several inaccurate data reports, such as stating that jobs in the retail industry were 'at its highest point in the year of 1980' (which contradicts the visual data showing manufacturing or retail peaks) and minor generalisations. Due to these under-developed ideas and the word count penalty, the task is only partially addressed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response makes an attempt at organization, using basic paragraphing to separate the introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. However, the overall progression is somewhat disjointed. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, such as 'Furthermore' and 'and afterwards showing downward trend', leading to mechanical transitions. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and sentences are frequently isolated rather than logically linked into a cohesive argument. The paragraph structure is also weak, with single-sentence paragraphs disrupting the flow. These features place the response firmly in Band 5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-specific terms such as 'economy', 'sectors', 'industry', 'employment', and 'healthcare'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, including 'track' instead of 'tracks', 'hight' instead of 'highest', and 'alomost' instead of 'almost'. Furthermore, the phrasing 'jobs in retail industry are highly in demand' is unnatural for describing employment numbers. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic trends, repetition of phrases like 'jobs in... industry' limits the range and precision of the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('The line graph track', 'employess... was'), missing prepositions or articles ('in year of 1980', 'at 6 millions in 1960 this was it's hight employment rate'), and punctuation errors. Several sentences are fragment-like or lack verbs altogether, such as 'Agriculture sector employment was at 6 millions in 1960 this was it's hight employment rate and after that reached its lowest point'. These persistent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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