Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020, in millions.
Overall, manufacturing and agriculture in employment figures has declined onto the last record in comparison to starting one while retail and healthcare in number of jobs has increased slightly reaching the top at the same point.
Jobs in 1960 of the manufacturing sector was just 15 million and piled up to 20 million in 1980 however, afterwards it has declined slightly throughout the year 2020 and reached below 15 million. About the agriculture sector, in the starting date of the record it was at just above 5 million and decreased steadily in 1980 and afterwards declined slightly throughout the year 2020 and reached initial point.
In 1960, retail was just in above 5 million while the healthcare was below 5 million and after that both sector in number of jobs has started to rise slightly throughout the year 2020 meeting at the initial point just above 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overall trend is provided in the second paragraph, contrasting the declining sectors (manufacturing and agriculture) with the rising ones (retail and healthcare). Key data points, such as the initial and final figures, are selected and reported. However, some of the descriptions lack precision, such as stating that manufacturing 'piled up to 20 million in 1980 however, afterwards it has declined slightly throughout the year 2020'. While the main trends are covered, the development is somewhat limited, which places this response comfortably at Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is arranged into four logical paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, a body paragraph for manufacturing and agriculture, and a body paragraph for retail and healthcare. Cohesive devices are attempted, such as 'Overall', 'however', and 'About the agriculture sector', but some referencing and linking are mechanical or imprecise, as seen in 'afterwards it has declined slightly throughout the year 2020'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different categories of data, resulting in a coherent overall arrangement that meets the criteria for Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, incorporating terms like 'illustrates', 'decline', 'steadily', and 'sector'. However, there are frequent word choice and collocation errors, such as 'manufacturing and agriculture in employment figures has declined onto the last record' and 'piled up', which sound unnatural in an academic context. There are also noticeable vocabulary inaccuracies that occasionally make the reading slightly awkward, though they do not completely impede communication, aligning this response with Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though attempts at complex structures often contain errors. There are several subject-verb agreement issues, such as 'manufacturing and agriculture in employment figures has declined' and 'both sector in number of jobs has started'. Punctuation is also weak, with missing commas around introductory elements and run-on structures. While communication is not severely hindered, the frequency of grammatical errors prevents the response from achieving a higher band, making Band 5.0 the most appropriate score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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