Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph illustrate the number of jobs in four different sectors in US.
overall, the economy of the manufacturing shows a substantial change from 1960 to 1980 and then gradually decrease upto the 2020.
the least marginally decrease in the agricultural economy. it begins from the 5 millions in 1960 and stay constant till the 2020. meanwhile the other two sectors increase significantly at a same level 1960 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is severely under-length, containing only 70 words against the required 150-word minimum. Because of this major omission, the task can only be addressed partially. The writer attempts an overview and mentions some trends, such as the manufacturing and agricultural sectors, but fails to provide a fully developed summary or comprehensive comparisons across all four categories shown in the graph. Key data points are missing or described too vaguely, which caps the score for this criterion regardless of other positive attempts.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text suffers from a lack of proper paragraphing, as it consists of only three very short, fragmented sentences and an introductory line. Cohesive devices are minimal, relying on basic connectors like 'overall' and 'meanwhile'. Although there is a rudimentary attempt to structure an introduction, an overview, and some body details, the organization is disjointed and lacks clear overall progression due to the extreme brevity of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and limited. Phrases like 'substantial change', 'gradually decrease', and 'increase significantly' show some awareness of trend vocabulary, but word choice errors are evident, such as 'The graph illustrate' (subject-verb agreement), 'economy of the manufacturing', and 'least marginally decrease'. The range is minimally adequate for the few ideas presented, but spelling, word formation, and collocations restrict the vocabulary score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response shows a very limited range of structures, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that contain frequent errors. Examples include basic grammatical slips such as 'The graph illustrate' (missing 's'), 'upto the 2020', 'stay constant till the 2020', and 'at a same level 1960 to 2020'. Punctuation and capitalization are also neglected at the beginning of sentences. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and demonstrate poor control over basic syntax.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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