Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar graph shows information about the number of occupations in the US economy in four sectors: manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing and healthcare were declined over the years, whereas retail and agriculture rose steadily over the years.
In 1960, manufacturing recorded the highest proportion 15 million jobs among all four sectors. In 1980, manufacturing sharply increased and reached 20 million and then dropped over the years from 20 million to around 13 million in 2020. Secondly, agriculture sector was at the lowest proportion around 6 million and then declined over the years reached around 3 million in 2020.
In 1960, the healthcare department was at 2 million and surged over the years and reached almost 16 million, whereas retail was at around 6 million in 1960 and rose steadily throughout the years reached 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempted to summarise the main features of the graph, identifying sectors like manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the student states that manufacturing and healthcare 'were declined over the years', whereas healthcare actually surged dramatically from 2 million to almost 16 million. Similarly, the description of manufacturing trends contains confusion over dates and figures. Furthermore, the response falls short of the 150-word minimum requirement, containing only 144 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed, and key comparisons are either missing or factually incorrect.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into four paragraphs, following a logical layout with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used to link ideas, such as 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'whereas'. However, referencing and logical progression are sometimes flawed due to the inaccurate data interpretation. For example, the transition 'Secondly, agriculture sector...' feels disjointed, and the grouping of sectors in the body paragraphs lacks a fully coherent strategy. Paragraphing is present, but overall progression suffers from the confusion in data reporting.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, incorporating sector-specific terms such as 'occupations', 'proportion', 'sector', and 'department'. There are attempts at less common vocabulary like 'surged' and 'steadily'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as using 'occupations' instead of 'jobs' or 'employment', and referring to healthcare as a 'department' rather than a 'sector'. Spelling is generally accurate, but the lexical range is somewhat limited and repetitive, with frequent use of 'over the years'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilising conjunctions like 'whereas' and time clauses like 'In 1960'. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward structures throughout the text. For example, 'manufacturing and healthcare were declined' contains an incorrect passive form, and 'reached around 3 million in 2020' lacks a necessary preposition or conjunction. Other sentences run on with excessive use of coordinating conjunctions like 'and'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the grammar score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.