Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar graph shows information about the number of occupations in the US economy in four sectors: manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing recorded the highest proportion among remaining sectors, and declined over the years. In contrast, agriculture declined, whereas retail and healthcare rose steadily over the years.

In 1960, manufacturing recorded the highest proportion among all four sectors. In 1980, manufacturing sharply increased and reached 20 million and then dropped over the years from 20 million to around 13 million in 2020. Secondly, the agriculture sector was at the lowest proportion around 6 million and then declined over the years reached around 3 million in 2020.

In 1960, the healthcare sector was at 2 million and surged over the years and reached almost 16 million, whereas retail was at around 6 million in 1960 and rose steadily throughout the years and reached 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all parts of the task by identifying the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. You provided a clear overview in the second paragraph noting the general downward trend in manufacturing and agriculture, contrasted with the steady rise in retail and healthcare. Key data points are cited, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 before dropping to 13 million, and retail and healthcare both reaching 16 million by 2020. However, referring to the figures as a 'proportion' is inaccurate since the vertical axis represents the actual number of jobs in millions, not percentages. Additionally, the description of manufacturing starting at the highest level in 1960 is slightly underdeveloped regarding its exact initial value. Nevertheless, the main trends and comparisons are adequately reported.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organised into four paragraphs, following a clear structure of an introduction, an overall summary, and two body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. Information is generally sequenced logically, moving from manufacturing and agriculture to healthcare and retail. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'whereas', and 'then' are used to connect ideas and guide the reader through the data. However, paragraphing could be improved by grouping contrasting trends more effectively, and transitional links between sentences are at times mechanical. Referencing is mostly clear, though the progression between some data points feels slightly disjointed due to repetitive use of time markers like 'over the years'. Overall organisation is clear, but cohesion requires more flexibility to achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing you to describe trends effectively with terms like 'rose steadily', 'surged', 'sharply increased', and 'declined'. You attempted some less common vocabulary related to data trends, which works reasonably well. However, there are notable lexical inaccuracies, most notably the recurring misuse of the word 'proportion' to describe absolute numbers of jobs. Furthermore, collocations are occasionally awkward, such as 'at the lowest proportion around 6 million'. Word choice errors do not impede communication, as the general meaning remains clear, but precision is lacking in how statistical values are categorized.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating subordinating conjunctions such as 'whereas' and 'while'. There are several instances of error-free sentences, particularly when describing straightforward historical trends. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, leading to minor errors and slightly awkward phrasing, such as 'then declined over the years reached around 3 million', which lacks a necessary preposition or participle. Punctuation is generally acceptable, and while minor structural flaws exist, they rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the intended data comparisons easily.

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