Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
Introduction:
Graph below about the information about the number of jobs of four sector manufacturing and agriculture,Retail,healthcare of the economy in the US between how many jobs of this four sector during 1960 and 2020.
Body paragraph 1:the graph shows the year of 1960 are the jobs opportunity are increasing of agriculture sector that is 15 million and the other one sector is manufacturing it is 3 million that two sector are given opportunity to jobs in economy in the US.
Body paragraph 2:And the graph shows the year of 2020 are increasing the jobs in manufacturing sector is 3 percentage increase as compared to 1960 its mean 6 million of jobs are manufacturing sector on the another hand thay is no increase other sector jobs.
Conclusion: the jobs opportunity of 1960 of two sector one is manufacturing and other is agriculture but agriculture sector the more opportunities to jobs but the manufacturing is only 3 million passing year the manufacturing sector in increase the jobs opportunity 3 percentage but the other are not.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task by discussing trends in the US economy between 1960 and 2020 for sectors such as manufacturing and agriculture. However, the interpretation of the data is severely confused and inaccurate. For instance, the student states that in 1960 agriculture was 15 million and manufacturing was 3 million, and later claims that manufacturing increased by '3 percentage' to reach 6 million. Furthermore, key sectors like retail and healthcare mentioned in the introduction are entirely neglected in the body paragraphs. The information is poorly selected and fails to provide a coherent overview of the main features or accurate comparisons, corresponding to a Band 4.0 level.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text is divided into labelled sections like 'Introduction:', 'Body paragraph 1:', and 'Conclusion:', which demonstrates an attempt at structure, but the overall organisation lacks logical progression and clarity. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, resulting in run-on sentences that are difficult to follow, such as 'the graph shows the year of 1960 are the jobs opportunity are increasing of agriculture sector that is 15 million and the other one sector is manufacturing it is 3 million...'. Referencing is unclear, and the paragraphing does not function effectively to guide the reader through a well-sequenced argument, placing it at a Band 4.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, relying heavily on words like 'jobs', 'sector', 'economy', 'graph', and 'increasing'. There are frequent inappropriate word choices and collocations, such as 'jobs opportunity are increasing of agriculture sector' and 'passing year the manufacturing sector in increase'. The range of vocabulary is inadequate for discussing statistical data flexibly, and errors in word formation and choice occasionally impede communication, reflecting the descriptors for Band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting primarily of long, poorly constructed run-on sentences connected by conjunctions like 'and'. There is a complete lack of control over basic grammar, tense agreement, and sentence boundaries. Numerous errors are present throughout the text, such as 'the graph shows the year of 1960 are', 'that two sector are given', and 'thay is no increase other sector jobs'. These frequent errors heavily distort meaning and strain the reader, aligning with Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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