Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates changes in employment figures across four economic sectors in the United States over a sixty year period, from 190 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector consistently employed the highest number of individuals until 2020, though its dominance declined after 1980. Meanwhile, healthcare demonstrated the most dramatic growth, while agriculture experienced a steady and significant decline.

In 1960, manufacturing was the leading sector with approximately 15 million jobs, peaking at 20 million in 1980. However, this figure fell steadily to around 13 million by 2030. Healthcare began with the lowest figures at under 3 million but surged remarkably, overtaking retail and agriculture to reach roughly 16 millions.

In short, Retail and healthcare sector remain upward from in the jobs sector, almost reach 15 millions. Whereas, two sector remain go to decline and do not cover large portions of job in the United States. This is the bad effect on the economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response successfully covers all main features of the graph, selecting and reporting key data trends across the four economic sectors. An overview is provided, highlighting the dominance of manufacturing and the dramatic growth of healthcare. However, the student includes several inaccurate data projections and timeline slips that contradict the provided visual information, such as stating that manufacturing figures fell 'by 2030' (the chart ends in 2020) and mentioning 'millions' incorrectly as 'roughly 16 millions' or 'reach 15 millions'. Furthermore, the final paragraph includes subjective commentary ('This is the bad effect on the economy') which is not required or appropriate for Academic Task 1. Despite these data and projection errors, all four sectors are addressed and general trends are identified, placing this response at Band 5.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response exhibits a basic overall organization with clear paragraph breaks separating the introduction, overview, body details, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Meanwhile', and 'However' are used to connect ideas. However, paragraphing and referencing become problematic in the final paragraph where sentences like 'Retail and healthcare sector remain upward from in the jobs sector' are disjointed and difficult to follow. The progression in the final section lacks logical coherence, and referencing is frequently unclear or faulty. This places the response in the Band 5.0 to 5.5 range, with Band 5.0 best capturing the mechanical and confusing nature of the concluding cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, attempting sector-specific terms such as 'manufacturing', 'healthcare', 'agriculture', and 'retail'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, including 'remain upward from in the jobs sector', 'remain go to decline', and pluralisation errors like '16 millions'. These errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the score from reaching Band 6.0, where vocabulary is used more accurately. The range is minimally adequate for conveying basic trends, fitting the Band 5.0 descriptor well.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as introductory subordinate clauses ('While agriculture experienced a steady...'). However, there is a high frequency of grammatical errors, particularly in the final paragraph ('Retail and healthcare sector remain upward from in the jobs sector, almost reach 15 millions. Whereas, two sector remain go to decline...'). These frequent errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and sentence fragments cause significant difficulty for the reader. While simple sentences are sometimes controlled, attempts at more complex structures frequently result in faulty grammar, aligning closely with Band 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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