Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the employment levels across four US economic sectors Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is evident that Manufacturing falls drastically after peaking in 1980 while Retail and Healthcare grew steadily. In addition, Agriculture varied considerably over the peiod.

Regarding the highest position, Manufacturing employed 15 million jobs in 1960 that rose gradually to 20 million in 1980 and become the leading factor however 7 million of decremental figure can be seen as it reached in 2020. Conversely, two imporatant sectors Retail and Healthcare follows the same pattern of growth. In 1960 2 million jobs was available in Healthcare sector than it grew up and reached to 16 million in 2020. Same case for the Retail but the starting record for it was 6 million jobs pool in 1960. Agriculture falls from 6 million employed work to 3 million in 1980 and has no significant change thereafter.

On the whole, employement shifted from traditional work towards service-based industries with Retail and Healthcare that showing the strongest growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response successfully covers all major features and trends shown in the graph across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The student correctly identifies the peak and subsequent decline of Manufacturing, as well as the steady upward trends for Retail and Healthcare, and the fluctuating nature of Agriculture. Key data points, such as figures for 1960 and 2020, are appropriately integrated to support the descriptions. Furthermore, an overview is provided at the beginning and reinforced at the end, capturing the primary shift from traditional work to service-based industries. While some data phrasing could be slightly more polished (e.g., 'employed 15 million jobs'), the overall response satisfies the requirements well, aligning closely with the Band 7 descriptor for addressing all parts with clear main features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is arranged logically into a clear four-paragraph structure comprising an introduction, an overview, body details, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices are employed to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'In addition', 'Regarding the highest position', and 'Conversely'. However, paragraphing and referencing show some awkwardness and mechanical usage. For instance, the transition 'Same case for the Retail' is abrupt, and cohesive links within the body paragraph lack seamless integration. Referencing can occasionally be unclear, as seen in the phrasing linking figures. Progression is generally maintained throughout, but the logical flow between sentences could be smoothed out to achieve a higher band. These characteristics place the text firmly at Band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range appropriate for Task 1, successfully incorporating terms such as 'employment levels', 'steadily', 'fluctuated', and 'service-based industries'. Less common vocabulary is attempted, such as 'decremental figure', but this is awkward and inaccurate in natural English collocation. There are noticeable word choice errors and unnatural phrasing throughout the text, including 'employed 15 million jobs' (jobs cannot be employed), '6 million jobs pool', and 'employed work'. Nevertheless, the vocabulary used is sufficient to communicate the main trends clearly, and spelling is accurate, fitting the requirements of a Band 6 performance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures such as relative clauses and subordinate clauses (e.g., 'while Retail and Healthcare grew steadily', 'as it reached in 2020'). However, control over grammar is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors and awkward structures, including tense and agreement issues such as 'Manufacturing... become the leading factor', 'two imporatant sectors Retail and Healthcare follows' (plural subject with singular verb), and '2 million jobs was available' (plural subject with singular verb). Additionally, punctuation is occasionally lacking. Because these errors occur frequently but rarely impede overall communication, the performance matches the Band 6 descriptor.

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