Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line chart displays the number of employment in four different economic sectors of the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, healthcare and retail sectors has a significant escalation in the number of jobs. while manufacturing has dramatically decreased the jobs over three decades, which was once at the peak. However, agriculture declined over the years and was almost on the lowest of all four sectors.
In 1960, manufacturing jobs started around 15 million in the sector which reached on the peak in 1980 and accounted for 20 million jobs, but then a gradual declined was seen over the next decades and fell to almost 13 million jobs in the country. Conversly, retail has 6 million jobs in 1960 which then significantly increased and reached around 15 million in 2000, but then it got a plateau between 2000 and 2020 and reached to almost 16 million jobs.
On the other hand, healthcare sector started from very few numbers but it dramatically increased in later years and reached almost 16 million in 2020. While, agriculture sector shows around 6 million jobs in 1960 which further fell in the numbers and reached the lowest of all and accounted for 2 million jobs in the country.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response successfully covers all major features and trends shown in the graph. The overview clearly highlights the main developments, noting the significant upward trends in healthcare and retail, the initial peak and subsequent drop in manufacturing, and the overall low figures for agriculture. Key data points are correctly selected and reported, such as manufacturing reaching its peak of 20 million jobs in 1980 before declining, retail reaching around 16 million by 2020, and agriculture dropping to 2 million. While there are a few minor numerical inaccuracies in phrasing, the overall task is well addressed and the main comparisons are successfully made, fitting the band 7 descriptor well.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into four logical paragraphs, moving from an introduction to an overview and then breaking down specific sector data. There is a clear overall progression. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, sentences are occasionally linked awkwardly, such as using 'While, agriculture sector shows...' or starting independent clauses with 'Conversly' and lowercase letters in the middle of sentences. Referencing is generally clear, but paragraph transitions could be smoother and cohesive devices are occasionally mismanaged. These features place the response securely at band 6.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common economic and descriptive terms such as 'escalation', 'plateau', and 'sectors'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'healthcare and retail sectors has a significant escalation', 'reached on the peak' instead of 'reached a peak', and 'a gradual declined' instead of 'decline'. Spelling is generally correct, but inaccuracies in preposition usage and word forms occur throughout. These errors do not impede overall communication, placing the response at band 6.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and time-dependent structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'healthcare and retail sectors has'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'it got a plateau', 'reached to almost'). Punctuation and sentence boundary errors also occur, such as sentence fragments starting with 'while' or 'Conversly'. Despite these frequent errors, the meaning remains clear and communication is not impeded, which aligns with the band 6 descriptors for grammatical range and accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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