Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph demonstrates the data about the amount of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020. Overall, Retail and Healthcare industry experienced a major growth in employment, whereas Manufacturing sector was having a shortage of occupation over the time.

In 1960, the healthcare sector had roughly 2 million jobs, which grew to 5 million by 1980. Retail began with 5 million jobs in 1960 and escalated to 10 million. By 2000, healthcare inclined to 12 million, and by 2020, it reached approximately 18 million, showing a significant growth. Meanwhile, retail climbed up in the market with15 million business in 2000 and in the next twenty years, it witnessed a expansion of 18 million.

In the contrary, agriculture started with around 6 million and as the time passed it suffered a sudden loss and remained stable with just 3 million positions. In 2020, the industry was left with just 2 million. Meanwhile, Manufacturing declined substantially over the period. It began with 15 million jobs, and in 1960, it increased to 20 million showing a remarkable employment growth. Although, it declined slowly to 16 million in 2000, and by 2020, it was left with just 14 million occupation, experiencing a poor development in the economy of US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by providing an overview of the main trends and reporting key data from the graph. The introduction accurately outlines the overall scope, stating that retail and healthcare experienced major growth while manufacturing saw a decline. Key features are selected and contrasted effectively across the body paragraphs, such as healthcare rising from roughly 2 million jobs in 1960 to 18 million in 2020. However, there are minor confusions in data interpretation and expression, such as stating retail witnessed an 'expansion of 18 million' rather than reaching 18 million, and a slight chronological mismatch regarding manufacturing starting at 15 million and then increasing to 20 million in 1960. Nonetheless, the task is well covered overall, placing it comfortably in Band 6.5 to 7.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized with a clear overall progression. It begins with an introductory paragraph containing an overview, followed by well-defined body paragraphs grouping related economic sectors. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'Meanwhile', and 'In the contrary' (though the latter should be 'By contrast'). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different trends, distinguishing the growing sectors from the declining ones. While referencing is generally clear, occasional awkward transitions and minor cohesion slips prevent a higher score, aligning the response with Band 6.5 to 7.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for an Academic Task 1 response, successfully employing terms such as 'escalated', 'inclined' (though 'increased' is more precise), 'substantially', and 'fluctuations' implied through trends. There are some lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as 'amount of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs', 'shortage of occupation' instead of a decline in employment, and 'expansion of 18 million' instead of reaching 18 million. Spelling is generally accurate, and vocabulary errors do not impede communication, supporting a Band 6.0 rating.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing time clauses and relative structures effectively (e.g., 'which grew to 5 million by 1980', 'as the time passed'). There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing choices, including 'In the contrary' instead of 'By contrast', 'the manufacturing sector was having a shortage' (tense misuse), and missing prepositions or articles. However, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear throughout, justifying a Band 6.0 score.

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