Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates employment trends across four sectors in the United States between 1960 and 2020. Overall, Retail and Healthcare industries experienced substantial growth, while manufacturing declined significantly and agriculture sector remained relatively marginal throughout the period.

Healthcare demonstrated the most dramatic expansion. In 1960, the healthcare sector had roughly 2 million jobs, which rise steadily to 5 million by 1980. By 2000, healthcare employment had reached to 12 million and by 2020, it reached approximately to 16 million, reflecting a upward trend that reflects the growing demand of healthcare services.

The retail sector also expanded considerably. In 1960, it started with around 5 million occupation and increased to 10 million by 1980. By 1980, retail employment had climbed to 15 million jobs, and by 2020, it surged up to 16 million, demonstrating sustained growth parallel to retail.

In contrast, agriculture sector followed a declining trend. Initially, agriculture industry employed with approximately 6 million workers in 1960, it experienced a sharp decline and stabilized at approximately 3 million by 2000, falling further to just 2 million by 2020, reflecting the minimisation of agriculture production. The manufacturing sector was occupied with 15 million labourers in 1960, peaked at 20 million in 1980, then declined gradually to 17 million by 2000, and 14 million by 2020, reflecting shifts in industrial production and globalization.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by providing a clear overview and reporting the main features of the employment trends across the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. The response outlines significant changes, such as the sharp growth in healthcare and retail alongside the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. Key data points are accurately selected and compared throughout the text. The overview in the introduction effectively captures the broad trends. While some figures contain minor inaccuracies (for example, stating that retail surged up to 16 million by 2020 while healthcare also reached 16 million, though visually they are close), the overall reporting is accurate and well-supported by the visual information provided. The task is fully covered, demonstrating a clear understanding of the graph's contents.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organised with a clear overall progression. It begins with a helpful introductory summary, followed by well-defined body paragraphs dedicated to specific sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In contrast', and 'Initially' are used appropriately to guide the reader through the data and establish comparisons. Paragraphing is used effectively, grouping related trends together logically. Although referencing and transitional elements are generally clear, occasional mechanical transitions or repetitive phrasing ('By 1980... By 1980...') slightly disrupt the natural flow of information. Nevertheless, the logical structure and clear progression meet the requirements for a Band 7 score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow for flexibility and precision, employing terms such as 'substantial growth', 'dramatic expansion', 'parallel', and 'globalisation'. There is an awareness of less common lexical items appropriate for an academic report. However, there are some noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'which rise steadily' (instead of rose), 'occupation' (instead of jobs or workers), 'reached to' (should simply be reached), and 'minimisation of agriculture production' (reduction would be more natural). Despite these lexical errors, the vocabulary is adequate to convey the intended meaning without impeding communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and introductory prepositional phrases. There are instances of good control; however, several grammatical errors occur throughout the text. Examples include tense inconsistency ('which rise steadily' instead of rose), redundant prepositions ('reached to 12 million', 'surged up to'), and passive/active confusion ('agriculture industry employed with' and 'The manufacturing sector was occupied with'). Punctuation and comma splices also occasionally affect sentence boundaries. While complex structures are attempted, frequent errors persist in grammar and tense agreement, placing the response firmly at Band 6.

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